Be Careful What You Wish For
by mira1122
Summary: After making a careless wish, Yuki is suddenly transported into an alternate reality. Shuichi, unaware of Yuki's existence, has another life and another lover. Will Yuki be able to win Shuichi's heart and go back to his original reality?
1. One Careless Wish

Obligatory Disclaimer: Gravitation in all its glory was conceived and written by Maki Murakami. My story is but a humble tribute to her greatness.

* * *

The scorching heat beat down upon me as I maneuvered uneasily through the crowd. This was the last thing I wanted to do today, but I knew if I ditched the little brat and went home early, K would probably shoot me in the ass. For three weeks Shuichi had been in a slump, but as soon as K mentioned this stupid date, he "miraculously" bounced back.

_Hell, he did more than just bounce back. He wrote a song so popular it shot to the top of the charts, and it's been there for the past four weeks._ _Damn it, _I moaned inwardly. _Why is it that every time Shuichi has writer's block K has to dangle a date with me in front of his nose to get him out of it?_

As I shuffled listlessly behind my overly enthusiastic companion, I gingerly massaged my throbbing temples. The noise, the heat, and the suffocating stench of sweat, perfume and vehicle exhaust were beginning to make me sick. Slowing my step, I wondered if I might be able to get a momentary reprieve from this worthless excursion. People flowed around me as if I were a rock in a river bed, and within seconds, Shuichi's tiny body was swept away. Breathing a sigh of relief, I ducked into a restaurant and ordered myself a large, frosty mug of Budweiser.

Lighting up a cigarette, I stared at the droplets of water sliding playfully down the side of the glass. I took a large sip and held the cold, refreshing liquid in my parched mouth for a couple of seconds before swallowing. Closing my eyes in contentment, I welcomed the cool air-conditioned atmosphere.

Soft laughter from a nearby table roused me from my respite. The source was a dark haired beauty with ample bosoms and long shapely legs. A year ago the sight of such a woman would have been enough to set my libido aflame, but that was before my soul had been infected by that pink haired, hyperactive demon. How was I to know that an off handed remark about some poorly written lyrics would screw my life up so completely? No…that's not entirely true. What had altered my life so drastically wasn't that first ill fated meeting with Shuichi. It had been my twisted desire to provoke my overprotective sister by playing with his virginal heart. I thought it would be fun to make him cry, but the first time I embraced him, I knew deep in my tormented soul that my life would never be the same.

_Damn it! What am I doing here?_ I took a large drink of my beer in frustration. _I might as well be here for all the good I'd be doing back home. _Shuichi wasn't the only person in that apartment with writer's block, but unlike him I didn't have anything, or anyone to inspire me out of my slump.

"Yuki!" Shuichi's shrill voice on the verge of panic sent a discomforting chill down my spine. "I finally found you!"

"So it would seem," I answered wearily.

"I met this really amazing person," he began excitedly flopping into the chair across from me. "His name is Tsuneo and he owns the occult shop a couple of blocks from here at the corner of T and K Avenue. He knew everything about me, my family and friends, where I grew up and went to school… he even knew my birthday and blood type!"

"Shuichi," I interrupted trying my best to control my temper. "He probably read all that about you in one of the dozens of inane pop music magazines that litter the newsstands."

"He knew that I am in love with you," he pressed on undaunted.

I gritted my teeth. "Everyone knows you're in love with me!"

"He… he knew that you lived in New York and that Kitazawa was your tutor!"

The hairs rose on the back of my neck. "What the hell! Playing you for a fool is one thing, but digging into MY past like that…" I jumped up abruptly and tossed some money on the table for my beer. "Come on!" Grabbing Shuichi by the wrist, I plunged once more into the sweltering summer heat.

"Wait a minute Yuki! Where are we going," Shuichi asked as he struggled to keep up with my brisk pace.

"We're going to Tsuneo's shop so he can personally explain how and why he's so familiar with me!"

"D…don't get into a fight with him," he pleaded trying his best to slow me down. "Tsuneo is a very powerful wizard. Please don't do anything to make him angry with you!"

"How gullible can you be," I retorted laughing scornfully. The fact that Shuichi had already begun to idolize this idiot made me angrier than his digging into my past. "This guy is just your typical run of the mill scam artist, and YOU are the world's biggest sucker!"

Shuichi's face turned bright red. "I am not," he shrieked in indignation. "I know I'm not a smart as you are – Mr. High and mighty ROMANCE novelist, but I am definitely a good judge of a person's character."

"Sure you are," I interrupted derisively. "You picked such a fine, upstanding person to fall in love with!"

"But you are a good person, Yuki."

The sincere emotion in his voice and the obvious love in his eyes made my heartbeat quicken, but I wasn't about to let that stupid sentimentality distract me from my objective. "There it is," I exclaimed adding extra speed and determination to my strides. "What the hell," I blurted heatedly as I noticed the 'sorry we're closed' sign posted on the door. Ignoring the sign, I yanked fruitlessly at the door.

"Come on Yuki, Tsuneo isn't here anymore. Let's go somewhere else."

"You can go if you want to, but I'm not leaving until I find out what that bastard wants from me!" I began to pound on the door. "Hey, Tsuneo… I know you're in there!"

"Cut it out," Shuichi appealed urgently, "before someone calls the cops on you!"

"Like hell I will!" I pounded harder. "Get out here and face me like a man!"

"What's going on out here," yelled a voice from above.

I looked up to find a balding, middle aged man with thick glasses peering down at me from a second story window. "Why the hell is this shop closed? It's only two o'clock in the afternoon!"

"Ah, that Tsuneo," the man replied affectionately. "He comes and goes as he pleases. I honestly don't know how he manages to stay in business, but he always pays his rent on time so it doesn't really matter."

"Do you have any idea where he might be," I asked struggling to keep the anger out of my voice.

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders and scratched the top of his head ruffling the sparse, graying hair. "He might have gone back into his apartment. It's right behind the store." Gesturing to the left he continued, "You can get to it through the alley around the corner."

Ignoring Shuichi's protests, I walked down the narrow, litter strewn alley until I found Tsuneo's unobtrusive doorway. I pounded on the door hard enough to rattle the very hardware that held it into place. "Get out here you meddling bastard!"

"Yuki please," Shuichi begged anxiously grabbing my arm. "Don't anger him."

"Why the hell should I be afraid of that third-rate charlatan," I questioned indignantly yanking my arm out of his grasp. Shuichi's reverence for this person was seriously beginning to piss me off! I banged loudly on the door once again. My hand started throbbing painfully and I knew without looking that I'd have a nasty bruise on it tomorrow.

"It's no use," he said pulling emphatically on my arm. "Let's go home. Besides," his face brightened, "I… have a surprise for you." He pulled it out of his pocket and held it proudly in the palm of his hand.

It was a round, perfectly smooth, caramel colored crystal about the size of a robin's egg.

"What am I supposed…?" I'd taken the crystal from him and before my very eyes it changed from caramel into a deep golden yellow. "To do with this," I finished in astonishment.

"It happened just as Tsuneo said it would," Shuichi exclaimed with deep veneration. "Make a wish Yuki, and it will come true!"

"What kind of an idiot do you take me for?"

"It's true," he insisted. "The crystal turned yellow just like Tsuneo said, so that means you can make a wish on it too!"

"This thing has probably been treated to change colors whenever it comes into contact with the different chemical compositions in each person's sweat."

"No it isn't," Shuichi interrupted. "It was the same yellow color when Tsuneo gave it to me, and it didn't change into that tan color until after I'd made my wish!"

Laughing at his childish naiveté, I dismissively shoved the 'magic crystal' into my pocket. "And just what did you wish for? No, wait let me guess. It was either a case of strawberry Pocky, or the complete set of Nittle Grasper's remastered CDs."

"Yeah, something like that," he answered pain and disappointment radiating from his exquisite violet eyes. "Just make a wish, and you'll see."

"Do you honestly expect me to entertain such a fantastic notion? What kind of idiot…"

"Come on Yuki, just make a wish!"

"No! I refuse to be made a fool like you." I could see that I was hurting his feelings terribly, but I was too tired and fed up with this whole wasted day to stop myself.

"Make a wish," he declared more as a challenge than a request.

"Forget it," I waved him off dismissively as I turned to leave. "Unlike you, I don't believe in fairy tales!"

"But you have to make a wish!" He grabbed my arm in an attempt to slow my progress. "Tsuneo said… j..just make a wish," he sputtered guiltily.

"No!" I drug him effortlessly through the alley.

"Pleeeeease make a wish," he plaintively wailed fruitlessly digging his heels into the pavement.

"Fine," I conceded in a huff. "You want a wish? I'll give you a wish! I wish I never met you!"

One moment I was looking into Shuichi's shocked, horror filled face, and a split second later I was knocked to the pavement by an immense gust of wind. Dust and debris swirled around me as I struggled to my knees. It felt as if I would be swept away, but at the moment that was the least of my worries.

"Shuichi!"

Choking and blinded by the dust, I slowly groped my way to where Shuichi had been standing. Then, just as suddenly as it began, the tempest completely subsided.

"What the hell was that," I asked as I quickly climbed to my feet and gingerly opened my eyes. "Hey Shuichi…" He wasn't where I thought he would be. "Are you… alright?" I turned in a complete circle and rubbed my eyes in disbelief. He was nowhere to be found.

"Shuichi!"

I sprinted to the end of the alley and looked desperately down both sides of the street. It was as if he'd vanished into thin air. I picked a direction and started running.

Although Shuichi was a swift sprinter, I knew I could catch him – if I'd started in the right direction. Pushing my way through the crowd, I frantically scanned the sea of people, every flash of pink catching my eye. Finally, after running flat out for what felt like an eternity, I slumped dejectedly against the side of a building. Struggling to catch my breath, I continued to scan the crowded street.

_Wait a minute_… it felt like something was out of place, but I couldn't tell at first what it was. I studied my surroundings thoroughly until at last I noticed it. The ramen shop across the street had definitely not been there earlier today. I glanced over at the street signs to confirm my position. I was exactly where I thought I should be except there should be a bookstore in the place of that ramen shop.

My stomach churned uncomfortably as I made my way across the afternoon traffic. _This can't be. Shuichi and I were just in here looking for his favorite manga a couple of hours ago_. Stepping into the shop, I could see in my mind's eye the layout of the bookstore.

"What in the hell is going on around here," I whispered to myself in disbelief.

"It's amazing isn't it?"

I jumped slightly and turned toward the speaker. I couldn't prevent the astonished gasp that suddenly escaped my parched lips as I gazed upon the most unusual person I'd ever encountered. His short, loosely curled, disheveled, jet-black hair was the perfect accompaniment to his rich chocolate colored skin. He had the ethereal, androgynous beauty of an angel, but the smooth, well-sculpted chest under his delicate, silk, turquoise shirt and the tight-fitting black leather pants made his gender blatantly obvious. Those qualities were enough all on their own to make him an object of admiration for both men and women, but what really made him stand out were his large, almond-shaped eyes. The right eye was a brilliant sky blue, and the left was a deep emerald green perfectly fringed with long, lustrously thick, black eyelashes.

"Wh..who are you, and what are you talking about," I stammered completely spellbound by those unusual eyes.

"The name's Tsuneo," he said in an annoyingly mischievous tone. "I was merely commenting on your recent turn of events. Surely by now you've noticed some unnerving changes around here. This ramen shop for instance…"

I felt the color drain from my face. "What in the hell have you done to me, and where is Shuichi?"

"I wish I could take credit for all of this lovely chaos." He twirled around giddily throwing his arms out in an exaggerated motion. "But this time it's not my fault. It was your wish that caused this."

"What are you talking about? I never made a…" It hit me suddenly, the careless words I'd blurted out to shut Shuichi up. _I wish I never met you!_ "That's ridiculous," I cynically exclaimed. "You don't expect me to believe all of that 'magic crystal' bullshit!"

"Oh, you don't HAVE to believe me," he replied in an overly sweet and mockingly innocent tone. "But eventually you're gonna have to believe your eyes. This ramen shop is just the first of many changes that are in store for you from now on!"

"I don't give a damn about your supposed changes! I just want to find Shuichi and go home."

"You needn't waste your time with Shuichi," he replied with obvious amusement. "He doesn't even know you exist."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, but since you're too stubborn to admit it, I will graciously offer an explanation." He sat down at the first available table and gestured for me to do likewise.

Eying him warily, I slipped into the chair across from him. "Spin me your yarn quickly. I'm in no mood for long, embellished fairy tales."

"My, but you are a cranky one, aren't you," he laughed heartily drawing the attention of everyone in the shop. "Shuichi said that you had a rotten disposition, but I thought he was exaggerating."

"Just get on with it," I growled through my clenched teeth.

"Temper, temper mon ami," he chided with that insufferable, smug smile. "Let's see now… where to begin… where to begin? Well, I could start at the very beginning, but…" He looked deeply into my eyes and I had the uneasy feeling that he was actually reading my soul. "You're not ready for that just yet, so I'll start with your wish. When you wished that you'd never met Shuichi…"

"You son-of-a-bitch… you were there the whole time!"

His full, sensuous lips spread into a wide smile revealing straight, blindingly white teeth. "I Didn't need to be. Your face tells me all I need to know."

"I don't have time for this," I jumped up abruptly, ignoring the uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, and took off toward my apartment. _Shuichi is probably there by now sulking and inhaling a box of strawberry Pocky._

"You won't find Shuichi back at your apartment," Tsuneo called out casually as he trotted up behind me.

"Why don't you go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and leave me alone," I snapped angrily.

"I can't do that to you, mon ami. You need me much more than you know." He laughed conspiratorially. "Shuichi's not there."

"If he's not at my apartment, then where in the hell is he?"

"C'mon, Tsuneo will show you!"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me in the opposite direction. "What a lovely mess you've created," he exclaimed happily again as we walked through the ever increasing crowd.

A group of youngsters passed in their school uniforms making my stomach churn uncomfortably. _I've got to find Shuichi before these kids tear him to shreds!_

"You've got nothing to fear, mon ami," Tsuneo said casually smiling and sidestepping a beautiful young student who'd stopped suddenly riveted by his good looks.

"What are you talking about," I snapped warily. _Is it possible that this person could actually read my mind? No… shit! What's come over me? I'm beginning to think like Shuichi! _

"You don't understand," I growled in frustration purposely dismissing my embarrassing, illogical thoughts. I was angry that I'd let the afternoon get away from me like this. _K's gonna kill me!_ "Bad Luck is one of the most popular bands in Japan! If they discover Shuichi wandering around here, they will tear him to pieces!"

He laughed at me! The bastard actually laughed in my face!

"There is no Bad Luck," Tsuneo replied gaily.

"What in the hell…?" I was seriously about to lose it. "That's Shuichi's band and they…"

"That used to be his band." Tsuneo interrupted suddenly serious.

"What do you mean by 'used to be?"

"It all happened because Shuichi never met you, and you never criticized his lyrics." He threw up his hand to silence my barrage of expletives. "It was Shuichi's desire to prove your criticism wrong that made him create such popular lyrics. After he fell in love with you… well you know the rest, but in this… time-line that never happened. In this time-line, you weren't there to criticize Shuichi, therefore; he was never compelled to become better. Without that crucial spark of inspiration, Shuichi was just another singer in one of the many bands struggling to make it big. I'm afraid that without your influence, Bad Luck never made it off the ground."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I exclaimed sprinting toward the newsstand we were fast approaching. I grabbed a copy of the latest pop magazine and turned to the page that had the latest top ten song hits. "Look right here at number one…" I gasped in shock. There was a different song from a group I'd never heard of before.

"You see mon ami? You weren't there to inspire Shuichi, so Bad Luck fizzled out and broke up."

"What happened to them? What happened to Shuichi? Where is he?" Still in shock, I dropped the magazine and followed Tsuneo down the street.

"Fujisaki Suguru never got the chance to work with Shuichi," Tsuneo said as we turned down yet another street. "He's the keyboardist for another band. It's not as successful as Bad Luck from your time-line, but they aren't doing too badly. Nakano Hiroshi was accepted into A University, and is working hard to become a physician."

We turned down another street. I hadn't really paid too much attention to where we were going, but as soon as I recognized the surroundings I grabbed Tsuneo's arm and jerked him to a stop. "W… we're in Ni-chome!* What in the hell are we doing here?"

"This is where you will find Shuichi," he gestured toward a bar with a large neon sign that garishly flashed in rainbow colors the words: PARADISE CLUB.

Just then a large, black limousine pulled up and to my immense shock, Shuichi climbed out of it. Wearing black slacks that were just tight enough to accentuate his adorable little ass and a lavender shirt unbuttoned almost to the point of displaying his tiny pink nipples, he looked good enough to stop several passersby in their tracks. His shoulder length hair was still bright pink with bangs that parted to the side making only one of his remarkable violet eyes visible.

Damn if he didn't look good enough to eat! "Oi, Shuichi!"

He merely looked in our direction questioningly as if he were trying to figure out who'd just called him. Before I could call out again, a tall, striking man climbed out of the limo, grabbed Shuichi possessively around the waist and maneuvered him quickly into the club.

"What the hell?" I dashed into the club after them only to be shoved roughly back into the street by an oversized, gorilla of a man.

"You got a membership card," he asked in a deep, gravelly voice.

"No, I'm not a member of this… establishment," I replied. Frankly, I was surprised this behemoth could talk.

"Then you ain't gettin' in the club!"

"No shit Tiny, I kind of figured that out already!" I charged back to Tsuneo who was by now nearly rolling on the pavement with laughter. "You dirty bastard! If you knew about all this why couldn't you just tell me? Why did you have to drag me here…"

Still laughing hysterically, he handed me a card. It was a Paradise Club membership card with my name on it. "How in the…"

"You… better get in there… Romeo," he taunted breathlessly.

I was torn between rescuing Shuichi and knocking those white teeth down Tsuneo's useless throat. I decided that Shuichi was more important. Clutching my 'passport into paradise,' I turned away from my tormentor, walked back into the club and shoved the card into Tiny's face.

"You're a bad man," he growled as I walked triumphantly past him. "Kuma will be watching you!"

"You do that Tiny," I called over my shoulder.

I was pleasantly surprised by the interior of the place. It looked like a quaint, tropical resort with its light bamboo furniture and accents blending nicely with the taupe paneling and lush, sand colored carpet. At the rear of the establishment, there was a mural of a crystal blue lagoon that spanned the entire length of the back wall giving the place an exotic touch. There was a bar to my left that was stocked with every multicolored, alcoholic beverage imaginable, and to my right there was another bar of sorts which was stocked with condoms, lubricants in a variety of different flavors, and a rather impressive supply of sex toys.

_Shit Shuichi, just look at the mess you've stumbled into this time!_

"Looking for someone," the guy at the sex toy bar asked.

"I'm looking for Shindou Shuichi."

"Ha, isn't everyone."

"What's that supposed to mean," I asked trying hard to control my irritation.

"He's the most popular host here," he replied as he handed me a pamphlet. My heart dropped as I noticed his picture at the top of the page. "H… he works here! But what about the guy he came in here with?"

"That's Takahashi Akihito. He's the owner of this club and Shuichi's lover."

The quiet rage that had been building with every shocking revelation I'd been hit with today was becoming increasingly difficult for me to control. "Where are they now," I somehow managed to ask through my gritted teeth.

"Today is Friday, so they should be in the large booth right over there." Either completely oblivious to or blatantly ignoring my irritation, he pointed toward the far left hand corner of the club.

Sure enough, that's where they were. Slowly, still in shocked disbelief I made my way toward them. Although it was still pretty early in the afternoon, the place was filling up quickly with a wide range of men. From young guys who looked like they'd just come from the local high school to middle-aged business men and everything in between, they were all here for the illusion of love, sex, or possibly the combination of both.

As I neared the booth, I appraised Takahashi – my rival – with what I'd hoped was an air of indifference. He was handsome in a smug, superior sort of way. His short, jet black hair was artistically mussed as per the current style, and it looked like he had a well muscled physique under the forest green Armani suit he was sporting. He sat nonchalantly scanning the crowd with his arm draped carelessly over Shuichi's shoulder. Evidently he was used to people staring at him, or more appropriately at Shuichi for he seemed to be annoyingly unconcerned by the handful of us who were gaping in their direction.

Shuichi on the other hand, sat stiffly at his side. Although he was trying his best to look happy and relaxed, I could tell he was miserable. He wore that very same expression whenever I would put broccoli in his food. It was unmistakably the same fake smile that said 'I really hate this, but because you made it for me, I'll choke it down.' _Just what is that bastard trying to make you choke down?_ It didn't take me long to figure out what it was.

"Looks like your first guest is here Shu-chan," Takahashi sneered smacking Shuichi's ass as he reluctantly rose up.

It took every ounce of my will power to keep myself from flying over the table and ripping his face off. After all, I could see Tiny out of the corner of my eye still watching me doggedly. Biting my tongue, I watched as one of the middle-aged businessmen approached Shuichi. He wrapped a meaty arm around the Paradise Club's number one host and with his bloated, disgusting hand he grabbed Shuichi's ass.

"Come on Shu-chan," the he chuckled lustily. "Take me to paradise."

I felt like I would be sick. That perverted bastard was taking Shuichi – my Shuichi – to some tawdry back room and do… I couldn't even bring myself to imagine what, and all the while Takahashi, that fucking bastard, sat there smiling as if there was nothing wrong! In a helpless, silent fury, I watched that son-of-a-bitch disappear with Shuichi. I would have liked nothing better than to beat the hell out of Takahashi, but I knew Tiny would never allow that to happen.

So I did the next best thing. I stormed out of the club to take my wrath out on the bastard that had started it all. But Tsuneo was long gone by the time I emerged from 'paradise.' A sudden inspiration sent me sprinting back into the club.

"Back so soon," the man behind the sex toy bar questioned with mock innocence. Damn that bastard! Like Tiny, he'd been watching me the entire time.

"Who do I need to see to… buy some time with Shuichi," I asked trying desperately to control my temper.

"Let me see," he said walking over to a large appointment book. "His next available opening is 2:00 AM on Tuesday."

"Th… that's four days from now," I stammered incredulously.

"Yeah, he's been in a bit of a slump lately. It usually takes at least a week to book some time with him!"

"Couldn't you squeeze me in tonight," I asked struggling to keep the anger out of my voice.

"Are you kidding me," he shot back indignantly. "If tried to do that, the boss would have my head!"

"Are you alright, Teijo-san?"

I felt my old friend, Tiny breathing uncomfortably down my neck.

"I'll be fine Kuma-kun," Teijo smiled reassuringly. "You can go back to your post."

As soon as I felt his overbearing presence dwindle, I turned my attention back to Teijo. "Put me down for 2:00 AM on Tuesday," I muttered in defeat.

Without a word to anyone, I left the artificial beach within the Paradise Club and walked woodenly home. Although I'd gotten exactly what I'd wished for, I couldn't help but feel empty. For a little more than a year, my entire life had reluctantly revolved around Shuichi. Whether living under the same roof, or trying desperately to distance myself from him, the result had been the same. Shuichi had gotten under my skin more than any other person, including my once beloved tutor.

_All of that is over now._ I shook my head as if that could ease the uncomfortable pain that had settled in my chest. _I don't have to worry about that brat anymore. I'm finally free._ I knew I should be happy, I wanted to be happy, but I just couldn't stop thinking about that miserable look on Shuichi's face.

_How could I possibly leave him in that awful place with that rotten, fucking bastard? It's obvious that he hates what he's doing. But what can I do about it? _I couldn't even begin to understand how we'd got into this mess in the first place, and it didn't look as though I'd get any kind of a straight answer from Tsuneo. Still wrestling with my aching heart, I slowly went home to my lonely apartment.

* * *

*** - Shinjuku Ni-chōme** (新宿二丁目), referred to colloquially as **Ni-chōme** or simply **Nichō**, is Area 2 in the Shinjuku District of the Shinjuku Special Ward of Tokyo, Japan. With Tokyo home to over 8.2 million people, and Shinjuku known as the noisiest and most crowded of its 23 special wards, Ni-chōme further distinguishes itself as Tokyo's hub of gay subculture, housing the world's highest concentration of gay bars. - Wikipedia


	2. The Ugly Realities of an Alternate Life

Aimlessly I wandered the crowded streets. I'd spent the majority of the day doing this in an attempt to ease my guilty conscience, but it was no use. Every time I closed my eyes, Shuichi's sad, tormented face would haunt me. It consumed me so completely, I barely slept a wink, and on the few occasions I'd actually managed to drift into slumber, he'd dominated my dreams. Food no longer appealed to me, and even writing, my ultimate distraction, couldn't hold my attention.

My work, now that's a laugh. I hadn't been doing so well with that to begin with, but after reading the garbage that I supposedly had written, it took all of my willpower to keep from throwing my alter ego's laptop across the room in disgust. The words were clearly mine, but the characters were so… running my hand through my hair in frustration, I searched for the right word. It's not that it was necessarily bad; it was as if… a cold chill ran down my spine, I hadn't progressed at all. The half finished novel on my alter ego's laptop was nothing more than a rehashed variation of my first novel. The Yuki in this time-line had become one of those serial romance novelists that I had despised in my youth. A sudden thought occurred to me stopping me dead in my tracks causing a collision with the person walking directly behind me.

"Pardon me," the man fumbled apologetically as he continued down the street.

I nodded in acknowledgment and stared blankly at the sea of people rushing past me. Is it possible that I'd been just as influenced by Shuichi as he had apparently been influenced by me? The two novels I'd written after Shuichi and I had become lovers were by far more popular than all of my previous novels combined. I'd never realized it before, but now, after reading the pathetically lukewarm love scene that my alter ego had obviously been struggling though, I knew without a shadow of a doubt what Shuichi's influence had done for me. It had infused me with a passion I'd never before been able to convey. Like it or not, I couldn't escape the fact that I needed Shuichi just as much as he needed me.

Of course, that's all it is. I smiled at the momentary rush of relief that flowed rapidly through my body. Shuichi is nothing more to me than a muse. As I resumed my aimless meandering, I fought against the uneasy feeling that threatened to overcome my treasured serenity. Deep down I knew that Shuichi meant much more to me than that, but I couldn't, I wouldn't allow those emotions to surface. If I they ever broke through the wall I'd purposely built around my heart, I knew I would be forced to face the demons that had haunted me ever since the day Kitazawa robbed me of my innocence.

Although it was still quite bright, I knew the day was fading fast by the elongated shadows that cut across the bustling streets. My stomach rumbled at me angrily. I had barely eaten anything in the past twenty four hours, and I knew from the twinge of pain just beginning to form at my temples that I'd have a nasty headache if I didn't get something to eat soon. For the first time I consciously took note of my surroundings. A brilliant twinkle of light caught my eye and I found myself once again staring at an all too familiar flashing, multicolored sign. Even though I'd been trying hard not to think about Shuichi, somehow my aimless wandering had led me back to the Paradise Club. Conceding defeat, I sighed and reluctantly drifted back into paradise.

Tiny met me at the door with his usual disapproving scowl. In a near repeat of the following night, I shoved my membership card under his nose. He grudgingly stepped aside allowing me to saunter arrogantly past him. Thankfully, Teijo, the sex toy vendor, was busy with a person who apparently was trying to decide what toy to delight and/or torment his partner with that night. Slipping surreptitiously past him I found a small, inconspicuous table which just happened to overlook Takahashi's usual niche.

Fortunately, Takahashi and Shuichi hadn't arrived yet. I ordered a Budweiser and bukkake udon. With fascinated curiosity, I studied the wide variety of men who had also taken refuge in paradise. It was almost as if I'd never left the club. Virtually the same crowd was back again tonight.

In a darkened, partially secluded corner a couple was already kissing passionately. Several older men, still dressed in their business attire, were mingling with attractive youths that I assumed were hosts. There was a group of college kids chatting animatedly at a table near mine. The boldest of the bunch was flirting with one of the many gorgeous waiters. It was blatantly obvious that every one of Paradise's waiters had been selected not only for their looks, but also for their grace. They were nearly as alluring as the hosts circulating throughout the room.

"This isn't much of a dinner," a sexy, unfamiliar voice cooed as my mug of beer and bowl of noodles were set before me.

I looked into the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen. "I don't have much of an appetite tonight."

"Really? Who's the guy?" His smile brightened transforming him from stunning to exquisite.

"There isn't any guy. I'm just not that hungry," I lied taking a large swig of my beer.

"Then tonight is my lucky night," he softly replied as he settled into the chair next to me and reclined into a seductive pose.

Digging into my noodles, I tried not to stare at my unwanted dinner companion, but he was exactly my type. His soft, ebony hair fell haphazardly into his face contrasting nicely with his porcelain skin. Although he was far too beautiful to be a man, he had a definite masculine quality that under different circumstances would have been too tempting for me to ignore. Slurping down the last of my noodles, I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. They clearly were inviting me to devour him next.

Grabbing my napkin, I avoided his gaze as I wiped off my mouth and took a large gulp of my beer. "I'm really not in the best of moods tonight…"

"Saito," he offered smiling warmly.

"Saito," I responded pointedly refusing to reciprocate the familiarity. "Why don't you go back to whoever you came here with…"

"I'll be damned, Chiba-chan was right, you are a newbie!" Laughing heartily Saito glanced back at the bar tender, who had obviously been watching us the entire time. "I'm not a patron. I'm a host!"

"Perhaps you should…" a sudden commotion distracted me, "find someone else to…" I completely lost my train of thought as Shuichi and Takahashi entered the room. Once again Takahashi's arm was wrapped possessively around Shuichi's waist. Tucked in his lover's embrace, Shuichi had that same sappy, blissful expression he always had whenever he was on a date with me. _Damn it Shuichi! Don't look at someone else like that!_

"Shu-chan," the bold college kid exclaimed excitedly grabbing him by the wrist. "Come join the party!"

Reluctantly, Shuichi followed looking longingly back at Takahashi. As soon as the spot had been vacated, a beautiful, blond youth slid next to Takahashi and into his embrace. Clearly crestfallen, Shuichi took a seat with the rowdy college kids and tried his best to look like he was enjoying himself.

"You're another fan of Shu-chan," Saito sighed in defeat.

I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. _Goddamn it!_ "What makes you think I want anything to do with him?"

He smiled sadly at me. "Your eyes were glued to him from the moment he stepped into the room. Not that I really can blame you," he said looking wistfully at Shuichi. "Everyone loves Shu-chan." Saito chuckled softly as his eyes once again met mine. "Even though he knocked me into second place, I still can't find it in myself to dislike the guy."

"You mean you used to be…"

"Yeah, I used to be the number one host, but that all changed the day that cute, little, drunken bishie mistakenly stumbled through the door." Pain radiated from his beautiful eyes as he toyed absentmindedly with my napkin.

"Tell me about it," I encouraged. Clearly there was something more to this story – something he didn't want to divulge.

As he looked into my eyes, I could almost see the inward debate that was undoubtedly taking place behind that attractive façade. He sighed in resignation and continued. "Most of the drunkards that end up in here are straight guys who've been set up by their buddies, and it usually ends up badly. However, that obviously wasn't the case with Shuichi. He kept crying about some guy who apparently had gone off to college and left him all alone." A bitter-sweet smile danced across Saito's face. "Shuichi was so adorable, and so very vulnerable that everyone, even the guy who'd been propositioning me the entire night, was enticed by him. I remember being very worried about him. He was quite literally a sheep who'd just stumbled into a den of wolves. I wanted to hurry up and get him out of here before someone did something to hurt him, but Takahashi got to him first." He avoided my gaze guiltily. "I knew he would lure Shuichi into one of his twisted games."

He froze suddenly, and all the color drained instantly from his face. I followed his gaze to a set of twins, who'd just entered the room. "And there was nothing I could do to stop him," Saito concluded weakly. Biting his lip in vain to stave off the tears that threatened to spill over his cheeks, he lowered his voice in shame. "After all, it's exactly what Takahashi had done to me."

"What did he do," I asked glancing toward Shuichi, my stomach already twisting into knots. He'd also noticed the twins. Although he was doing his best to hide it, I could tell that he was terrified as he watched them maneuver easily through the crowd and over to Takahashi's table.

Saito shifted uncomfortably in his chair pulling my attention back toward our conversation. He paused to gauge my sincerity. Clearly satisfied by my genuine interest, he continued. "Takahashi seduced me. He made me believe that I was the most important person in his life." A tear streamed down his face tumbling over his bitter smile. "But I never meant anything to him," he confessed laughing humorlessly. "The blond guy that came in with Takahashi and Shuichi is Akira. He's Takahashi's real lover."

"You mean that bastard…"

"Yeah, he's been using Shuichi the same way he used me," Saito replied suddenly. He crumbled up my napkin in disgust. It was as if he wanted to crumble his own pain and guilt along with it. "Takahashi loves to beguile innocent young men, make them fall desperately in love with him, and then when it looks as though they will live happily ever after, he will abandon them in the cruelest way imaginable. I tried to warn Shuichi," he asserted tossing the napkin aside, "that Takahashi and Akira are lovers, that Takahashi was playing a cruel game with his heart, but he wouldn't listen – just like I refused to listen to Chiba when he tried to warn me. Damn it!" Saito angrily wiped away the tears that had moistened his cheeks. "Even though Takahashi used me and heartlessly tossed me aside, I've never been able to leave. I'd always thought, 'as long as I can be near him, it will be enough.' But now, I just can't take it anymore. I don't want to see him destroy another heart – especially not one as pure a Shuichi's."

Saito paused as the twins approached Shuichi. "Time to play, Shu-chan," one of them said maliciously. Shuichi looked back at Takahashi imploringly, but his silent plea went unheeded. In utter misery, he allowed the twins to guide him out of the room.

Saito grasped at my wrist and looked into my eyes hopefully. "It's not too late for Shu-chan. You're his lover aren't you? You could break the hold Takahashi has on him and get him out of here before it's too late."

"Wait just a damn minute," I threatened through my clenched teeth. "What in the hell makes you think that I'm Shuichi's lover?"

"It's so obvious it's not even funny," Saito exclaimed laughing nervously. Leaning closer he added, "even though you've been trying to ignore him, you haven't been able to keep your eyes off him."

My temperature rose once again. "That's it," I hissed into his sincere face. "I'm…"

Another cold beer was placed in front of me. "What the hell… I didn't order this!"

"Compliments of Takahashi-sama," the waiter replied gesturing toward his employer.

While my attention shifted to Takahashi, I heard Saito swear under his breath and make a hasty retreat. Takahashi lifted his glass in salute and motioned for me to join him. The hair rose on the back of my neck in warning as I warily made my way to his table. I had the distinct impression that I was a fly being lured into a spider's web.

"Welcome to the Paradise Club," he said offering me his hand. Although it was meant to be inviting, Takahashi's greeting struck me as cold as the icy hand that gripped mine a bit firmer than necessary. I matched his grip and then some as we shook hands. His smiled widened at my unvoiced challenge. "I'm Takahashi Akihito, the owner of this club. If I'm not mistaken, you are a new member?"

"That's right," I replied as nonchalantly as possible. "My name is Yuki Eiri, and this is my second evening in this establishment."

"How wonderful," he responded with a voice that was as inviting as a poisonous viper. He slid back into the booth and gestured for me to join him. As I reluctantly sat down, he opened and booted up his laptop. "You seem to have taken an interest in our adorable little Shu-chan," he added knowingly.

_Damn it! Why in the hell have I allowed myself to be so fucking obvious? _"I was under the impression that he's a host." I countered struggling to control my anger and surprise. "If I'm mistaken…"

"Oh no, you're not mistaken," he interrupted. "I just wanted to make sure you were fully aware of his… profession."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a window pop up on Takahashi's laptop. "Come on Shu-chan; try to act more like you want it."

My attention snapped instantly from Takahashi to the laptop. Apparently the room in which Shuichi and the twins had disappeared was under surveillance. I watched with suppressed horror as they stripped Shuichi's clothes from his listless body.

"On your knees, bitch," ordered one as he shoved Shuichi roughly onto the bed.

"You'd better use this, Taro," the other one said as he tossed some lube to his brother. "You know we're not allowed to hurt the little '_princess_!"

As Shuichi unenthusiastically rose into position, Taro coated his fingers liberally with the lube. Without warning, he shoved the slickened fingers into his unwilling victim. As Shuichi cried out in pain, the other twin grabbed a handful of hair and shoved his erect member into Shuichi's mouth.

"Damn Tanjiro," Taro chided as he coated his member with his lubed fingers. "You couldn't wait just a couple of minutes more?" Shuichi's eyes widened as Taro suddenly thrust into him. His muffled scream was cut short as Tanjiro began to thrust into his mouth.

"Hell no," Tanjiro murmured lustfully. "I couldn't wait to feel this hot mouth. Come on bitch," he castigated Shuichi. "Use more of your tongue and suck my cock harder."

Tears spilled freely from Shuichi's eyes as he endured the twin's double assault. My heart began to race as I watched those bastards use him as a vessel for their lust. Then, without warning it happened. The memories I had buried deep within my psyche burst forcefully into my consciousness. I could feel the fingers digging into my hips as an enormous cock slammed into me. Suppressing a gag, I remembered how awful the head of a cock felt brushing the back of my throat. But the pain and humiliation was nothing compared to the fact that the first person I had ever loved was the cause of it all. I could still see him there watching with pleasure while his acquaintances brutally raped me.

I chanced a glance at Takahashi. The fucking prick was watching Shuichi with the same expression that Kitazawa had. At least Shuichi could be spared the pain of knowing that the one he loved enjoyed watching his agony and disgrace. Biting back my rage, my attention reverted unenthusiastically back to Takahashi's laptop and Shuichi's torture.

"Ah fuck, I'm already going to come," Tanjiro rasped as his seed gushed into Shuichi's mouth. Released at last by one tormentor, Shuichi fell, gagging and coughing, face first into the mattress. The change in position allowed Taro to thrust into him more deeply. That and Shuichi's coughing fit was enough to push him over the edge.

"It feels so fucking good," Taro cried out thrusting one last time before pulling out and allowing Shuichi to fully collapse.

Without a second glance to their victim, the brothers cleaned themselves off, rearranged their clothes, and left the room. As soon as he heard the door close behind his tormentors, Shuichi slowly pulled himself up. With a pleading, tearful expression he looked directly into my eyes. A cold chill ran down my spine.

"You bastard," I hissed at Takahashi through my clenched teeth.

"Kano-kun," Takahashi called out to a passing waiter blatantly ignoring my insult. "Would you tell Saito to go to the executive suite and take care of Shuichi?"

"Yes Takahashi-sama," he replied eying me warily as he bowed and hurried quickly away.

"He knew you were watching," I growled angrily fighting back the gall that was rising into my throat.

"It's an unfortunate necessity with the Kimura brothers," Takahashi explained casually. Although he'd assumed an aloof, businesslike air, I could tell that he was feeding eagerly off the rage that was radiating palpably from me. "The first time they… hired Shuichi's services they played a little too roughly with him."

"Yeah, I remember that night," Akira added smiling maliciously at me. "He'd been injured so badly, the doctor wanted to send him to the hospital."

"But Shuichi, the little trooper, refused to go," Takahashi continued mirroring his lover's malicious smile. "After all, the negative publicity would have hurt the business, which in turn would have been bad for me."

A cold weight settled at the bottom of my stomach. Shuichi had once endured something similar to this to protect me. "What's the fucking point to all of this," I demanded as I rose heatedly out of the booth.

Takahashi's demeanor turned suddenly to stone. "The point I am making is this," he answered rising deliberately as well. "Shuichi belongs to me. His heart, soul, and…" he smiled vaingloriously, "his body, are all mine."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I was you," I challenged smiling confidently.

For a split second his smile faltered allowing me a brief moment of triumph. "Kuma-kun, would you show our guest to the door?" I stiffened defensively as I felt his massive form looming behind me.

"Yes Takahashi-sama," he answered as an enormous paw-like hand gripped the back of my neck.

"There's no need to get physical Tiny," I said shrugging roughly out of his grip. "I was just about to leave, but…" I looked determinedly into Takahashi's eyes, "I'll be back."

"Of course," he crooned confidently. "Come back anytime."

Audaciously, I strode through the crowd keenly aware that everyone's eyes were upon Tiny and me. As I walked through the door and into the cool evening breeze, I steadied myself for whatever he had in store for me.

Stepping next to me, Tiny cleared his throat. When I looked up into his face, I was shocked to see him looking at me awkwardly.

"You don't like the way Takahashi hurts Shu-chan," he asked with concerned sincerity.

"No I don't," I replied too shocked by the unexpected turn of events to counter with a clever comeback.

"Maybe you're not so bad after all," he admitted before returning quietly back into paradise.

_I'll be damned!_ It was blatantly obvious that Tiny also was very fond of Shuichi. _**'Everyone loves Shu-chan'**__…_ Saito's words echoed through my mind. As I began to walk slowly back toward my apartment, I tried to banish the sight of Shuichi's sad, tormented face as he looked pleadingly into the camera – not at me, but at the man who was supposed to be his lover. His eyes tormented me much more than they had the night before, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had to do something about it, if I wanted to maintain what was left of my sanity. Sighing in resignation, I shoved my hands in my pockets and headed toward Tsuneo's apartment.

* * *

An inviting light awaited me, and as soon as I tentatively knocked the door opened revealing Tsuneo's annoying face.

"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise," he gushed with a knowing grin. It was as though he'd actually been expecting me.

"Just shut the hell up and let me in." _What in the hell had ever possessed me to come here?_

His smile widened as he stepped aside. "Have you been enjoying your wish?"

"No I haven't been '_enjoying my wish_," I spat mockingly back.

"Ah, so you've finally accepted the truth…"

"Yeah, smart ass, I'll admit it," I interrupted heatedly. "I fucked everything up with that stupid wish. Now, if you've finished screwing around with me, why don't you just tell me what I have to do to fix it?"

"Sorry, mon ami, I can't do that," he answered with false sincerity.

His thinly veiled attempt to hide his amusement set what was left of my frayed nerves on edge. "What in the fuck do you mean," I growled through my clenched teeth. "It was your stupid, little 'mystic' stone that got Shuichi and me into this mess. You damn well better have an idea how to get us out of it!"

"Alright, calm down," Tsuneo responded making a poor attempt at hiding his amusement. "Do you have the stone with you?"

"I think so." I made a show of looking through my pockets. I didn't want the smug bastard to know I'd been purposely carrying that thing around with me. "Ah, here it is." Pulling it casually out of my pants pocket, I handed it to him.

Tsuneo's breath caught in his throat as soon as he looked at the stone. "This is bad, mon ami," he murmured gravely.

I looked at the stone as if I could actually figure out what he meant. This time it was a muddy dark brown color. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's like this," he started slowly as if he were searching for the right words to clarify his explanation. "Shuichi's wish was never fulfilled, and," Tsuneo looked pointedly into my eyes, "your hasty little wish obviously isn't what your heart desired. That must be why the two of you are stuck in this… alternate reality."

"Okay," I began slowly trying hard not to lose my cool. "So what can I do to fix this?"

Tsuneo sighed heavily. His uncharacteristically serious demeanor made my stomach twist into knots. "This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me," he admitted regretfully. "I… don't know how to fix it."

"Damn it, Tsuneo! Quit screwing with me," I yelled in frustration. "Don't give me that 'I don't know how to fix it' bullshit! You have to at least have an idea."

"I do have a theory," he replied as a mischievous smile once again graced his countenance.

The knots in my stomach twisted a little tighter as I inwardly groaned. "What is it?"

"Alright here's the thing…" he began evasively placing some distance between us. "I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me," I exclaimed closing the distance between us. "What in the FUCK do you mean? Why in the FUCK can't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry mon ami. This is something you're going to have to figure out for yourself."

Although I desperately wanted to pummel Tsuneo, his genuine regret washed over me quenching the heat of my rage. "And just how in the hell am I supposed to do that," I lashed out retreating away from him in defeat.

"You could start by being honest with yourself," he suggested.

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean," I questioned with obvious irritation.

"Why do you want me to fix this so badly," he demanded.

"Have you not listened to a thing I've said to you," I retorted in vexation. "I want my old life back!"

"Including Shuichi," he asked facetiously as a large smug smile spread across his angelic face.

"Well, he's part of the package," I admitted silently cursing the blush I felt creeping into my cheeks.

"Are you sure there's nothing more to it than that," he asked knowingly.

"Of course there's nothing more to it than that," I asserted vehemently. "What the hell else could there be?"

"Love is not your motivation to undo the hasty wish you made," Tsuneo pressed.

"Where in the hell did you get such a ridiculous notion," I yelled defensively as my face heated in proportion with my embarrassment.

"Oh, well that's a load off my mind," he sighed with obvious relief.

"What do you mean by that," I insisted suspiciously.

"I… slept with Shuichi," Tsuneo confessed cautiously. "I was curious… you know, to find out why everyone was so enthralled by him."

The knots in my stomach transformed instantly into a fiery ball of rage. "Quit screwing with me," I warned between my clenched teeth.

"I assure you, mon ami, I'm in earnest. Besides what does it matter to you? You're not in love with him… are you," he asked innocently.

"No… I'm not in love with him," I lied unconvincingly.

"Well then, no harm done," he continued with increased confidence. "I guess I can understand his appeal. After all, his tearful, pleading face is such a turn on… and that tight little hole of his… I'll be damned if he wasn't the best fuck I've ever had."

"YOU BASTARD," I screamed as I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and threw him across the room.

He was laughing, as he slammed against the wall, the bastard was actually laughing at me. "Oh no…" Tsuneo gasped as he continued laughing hysterically, "You're not in love with Shuichi at all."

His grating voice oozing with sarcasm pushed me over the edge. I attacked him with a fierceness I hadn't felt since I pummeled Aizawa and his thugs. He dodged the punch a split second before my fist obliterated the wall a mere millimeter from his face. The pain shooting down my arm and the terror in his eyes brought me back to my senses.

"Stay the hell away from Shuichi," I growled threateningly. For good measure, I punched a second hole in his wall before storming out into the night.


	3. Twisted Games

**_ I could hear Shuichi crying out in pain, but I had no idea where to find him. Running through what seemed to be an endless labyrinth of doors and hallways, I searched for him desperately. _**

**"_Damn you Takahashi! If I ever get my hands on you…"_**

**_Suddenly Shuichi's cries were silenced. Frantically I continued to search through every room, but there were so many of them. Everything, the walls, ceiling, floors and doors, was painted white. I was hopelessly lost, and I realized that even if I managed to find Shuichi, I'd never be able to get us out of here. Just as I was beginning to give up hope, I stumbled into an intersection._**

**"_Shit! Which way should I go?"_**

**_While I was trying to make my decision, I heard Shuichi moaning faintly in a room nearby. Bursting through the door, my eyes immediately fell upon his petite body curled up and shivering on the bed. I raced across the room and gingerly gathered him into my arms. _**

**_ "Damn it Shuichi," I whispered into his disheveled hair. "I never meant for any of this to happen to you."_**

**_ "Who are you," he asked suddenly pulling away. "Don't touch me! Leave me alone…"_**

I awoke with a start drenched in sweat and gasping for breath. As soon as my heartbeat returned to normal, pain and emptiness once again enveloped me. I crawled out of bed, lit a cigarette and drifted wearily into the kitchen. I didn't have to worry about tripping over Shuichi's crap that normally would have littered the apartment. How many times had I complained about his slovenliness, but now, as I walked through my immaculate home, it just didn't feel right. _I miss the all the noise, clutter, and chaos. I miss Shuichi._

_No, there's more to it than that._ I pondered as I filled the tea kettle with water. Memories of my latest dream invaded my thoughts._ I want… no I need to protect Shuichi. It's my fault… his suffering is all my fault, and I don't know what to do to make it better. Damn it!_

I placed the kettle full of water on the stove and lit the burner. There was something about that dream that made my stomach twist into knots – something lingering just beyond my grasp. If I could just get a hold of it, I knew everything would fall into place. _Maybe I'd even be able to figure out how to get us out of this mess._

The tea kettle whistled pulling me gratefully away from my unsettled thoughts. I plopped a tea bag into my mug, poured the hot water over it, and carried it into the study._ Perhaps an afternoon of rewriting my alter ego's pathetic novel will make me feel better,_ I mused as I sat down at the desk. Deep down I knew it was a wasted gesture, but I held onto that conviction as tightly as an alcoholic holding onto his last drink.

* * *

After spending the entire day and most of the evening fitfully wrestling against my conscience, I reluctantly returned to the Paradise Club. As I stood on the sidewalk staring at the multicolored neon lights, I longed for some kind of revelation. "What am I supposed to do," I whispered to the gods, my ancestors, fate, whoever or whatever it was that supposedly directed my path. I waited several seconds. It's not that I was really expecting an answer, but hell, I was getting desperate.

"You'll never get Shuichi back that way," exclaimed an annoyingly familiar voice.

"What the hell are you doing here," I demanded as I descended upon the dark, secluded entryway in which Tsuneo was partially hidden.

"Temper, temper mon ami," he chided throwing his hands up in self defense. "About what I said last night… I never slept with Shuichi. I just said it to make you jealous… to force you to finally admit to yourself that you really are in love with him."

_Fucking bastard!_ There's no way in hell I was ever going to admit that the son-of-a-bitch was probably right.

"I don't need any of your help," I retorted angrily.

"That's not the way it looks from here." Tsuneo's mocking laughter drew several unwanted stares in our direction. "I have something here that just might interest you, but if you would prefer to wait for your divine guidance…"

Swallowing my pride, I grabbed his arm and yanked him further into the privacy of his shadowed entryway. "This had better be good," I hissed menacingly into his ear.

"Here," he pressed a rectangular piece of expensive stationary into my hand.

"What the hell is this?" I maneuvered back into the dim light cast from the street and struggled to read its contents.

"It's an invitation to Takahashi's private party tonight," Tsuneo explained. "The scuttlebutt around the club is this party was set up to 'teach Shuichi a lesson.' Apparently he hasn't been performing his duties to Takahashi's standards."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Knots began to form at the pit of my stomach. "Shuichi is his most popular host! He's even got a fucking waiting list for crying out loud!"

"It seems that Shuichi's virginal school boy routine…"

"That's not a god damned routine," I cut him off heatedly. "I've witnessed firsthand what that bastard has done! He's been allowing his patrons to more or less rape Shuichi!"

"Are you sure about that," he asked with that now familiar all knowing expression on his beautiful face. "It's not like he's being dragged off by the people who've… paid for his services."

"You don't know Shuichi," I replied quietly. The knots in my stomach wound tighter. "He's the type of person who would do anything for the person he loves."

"Is that so," Tsuneo asked smiling broadly. "Then I guess that means that the person, who's fortunate enough to win Shuichi's heart, should cherish him more than the grandest treasure."

I tried not to wince at Tsuneo's obvious condemnation. Although I wasn't nearly as bad a lover as Takahashi, I too was guilty of taking Shuichi's love for granted.

"Now, where was I…" he mumbled out loud. "Oh yeah… the way I understand it, several patrons have started to complain about Shuichi's virginal…" he shot me a quick glance. "Er… lack of experience, so Takahashi has arranged this little get together to… teach him the art of seduction."

"What's that supposed to mean," I asked fighting my quickly rising anxiety.

"I don't know. That's all the information I could get from my source." Tsuneo glanced at his watch. "You better get in there," he admonished gesturing in the direction of the club. "Takahashi's 'party' is about to begin."

Clutching Takahashi's invitation, I strode to the club's entrance with what I hoped was a calm, unperturbed expression. _I've got to hold it together, _I silently admonished myself. _I won't do Shuichi any good if I get myself banned from this place by losing my temper._

"Good evening Yuki-san," Kuma greeted me warmly.

"Evening Tiny," I answered hesitantly. It seemed as though our last conversation, if indeed the few words we exchanged could be considered a conversation, had somehow managed to forge a bond between the two of us – at least as far as Tiny was concerned.

"Apparently, I have an invitation for a private party," I mentioned casually as I handed it to him.

"Please, follow me," he replied anxiously.

He led me through the bustling main room and headed toward the same ominous door in which Shuichi had disappeared with his "guests" for the past two nights. It entered into a long corridor lined with at least a half a dozen doors.

As soon as we entered the nearly deserted hallway, Kuma stopped me suddenly. "This is gonna be a bad night," he whispered surreptitiously.

"Why," I asked as nonchalantly as possible. "What's going to happen?"

"I don't know, but Shu-chan looks really scared." His expression darkened. "Kuma doesn't want anything bad to happen to him. You'll look after him, won't you?"

"I'll do my best," I answered fighting mightily to keep from smiling at his obvious anguish. Regardless of my own anxiety, I couldn't help but be amused. He looked exactly like an enormous teddy bear.

"Thank you," he replied gratefully as we continued down the hall. He led me to the last door on the left hand side of the hallway. "This is Takahashi's private room. Good luck Yuki-san." With his massive hand, he clapped me on the back hard enough to nearly knock me off balance.

I gave him what I hoped was a self confident nod in acknowledgment. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I strode purposely through the door. Takahashi's private room was also decked out in the same tropical beach motif as the club's main room, except the three walls facing me were painted to give one the impression of standing on a patio deck overlooking the same exotic lagoon that was featured in the main room. The scene on the wall behind me depicted a grand beach house. If they hadn't been painted so well, the effect would have been quite tacky. Obviously, whoever Takahashi's decorator was, he knew what he was doing. To my right, there was a small bar stocked with expensive wine and liquor. At the rear of the room there was a large semicircular booth upon which several people, including Takahashi and Akira, were sitting.

Standing in the middle of the room wearing a beautiful lilac flowered kimono was a clearly miserable Shuichi. At least six men were milling around him looking very much like a group of sharks circling their prey. Saito, along with several other hosts, were also in attendance. Although they were all dressed to kill in exquisitely tailored black tuxedos, no one was paying them any mind. Every eye in the room was riveted toward Shuichi.

"At last our final guest has arrived," Takahashi announced as he sauntered lazily over to his shivering lover.

"Takahashi," Shuichi begged, "I changed my mind. I… don't think I can go through with this"

"There, there Shu-chan," Takahashi cooed with mock sympathy. "I only invited the men I knew would take good care of you." At that he maliciously smiled in my direction.

"Please," Shuichi wailed as he clutched desperately at his lover's shirt. "Don't put me through this! If I mean anything to you at all…"

"We can't disappoint our guests now, can we?" Takahashi interrupted coldly pushing Shuichi away. "You've already agreed to this. It's too late to back out now." Slowly he untied Shuichi's obi and pushed the kimono over his slender shoulders. The silky garment fell silently to the floor revealing Shuichi's seductively pale, slender completely naked body. Several men whistled in appreciation as Shuichi modestly covered his manhood with his hands.

"Shuichi," Takahashi chided removing his hands and placing them stiffly at his sides. "You know that's against the rules."

Tears flowed freely over Shuichi's crimson cheeks as Takahashi slowly led him through the room allowing each guest to caress and fondle his prize possession.

I grit my teeth and struggled to suppress my rage as I helplessly watched each one of them treat Shuichi like a common whore. Finally Takahashi escorted the miserable little plaything over to me. As I looked into his mortified, tear filled eyes, I fought against an overwhelming urge to hold and comfort him. The dream that had awoken me so abruptly this morning flashed into my mind and in that moment, everything suddenly became clear.

Although I had always been attracted to Shuichi, there was something about his forceful personality that always kept me from fully giving in to the love I felt blossoming in my heart. Now, as I looked into this Shuichi's meek, vulnerable eyes, there was no bulwark to keep my love contained.

"What's the fucking point to all of this," I demanded testily.

"Shu-chan here is a hopeless romantic," Takahashi said as he lightly brushed the tears off Shuichi's still reddened cheeks. "He doesn't believe that sex without love can be pleasurable. You, and a couple of other lucky guests, will get the chance to show Shuichi just how wrong his naïve conception of sex is."

"So, you want me to seduce and make love to your lover," I asked fighting to keep a nonchalant tone to my voice. I looked once again into Shuichi's dejected eyes. Part of me wanted to get him the hell out of here. Another part of me wanted to rip Takahashi's worthless head off, and though I really hated to admit it, part of me wanted to do exactly what Takahashi was proposing.

"Only if you think you are able," he challenged knowingly as if he'd just made a sure bet and was expecting an exorbitant payoff.

I looked Takahashi dead in the eye. He was blatantly baiting me and it was an offer I couldn't refuse. "What if your twisted little plan backfires and your boyfriend decides he wants to be loved by a real man?"

In sublime pleasure, I watched Takahashi struggle to keep his anger in check. To his credit, it only took him a couple of seconds to regain control. He caressed Shuichi's chest pausing briefly to pinch one of his tiny, pink nipples. When anyone else had done such a thing, he'd endured their conduct with silent humiliation, but this time Shuichi shivered visibly and looked at his lover with such a needy expression it made my blood boil.

"Takahashi," Shuichi whispered plaintively.

"I don't think I have anything to worry about," Takahashi replied arrogantly. With deliberate ease, he backed away from his reluctant lover. "By the way," he added casually. "You're not allowed to kiss his lips."

Smiling boldly I pulled my unwilling partner into a warm embrace. "Of course not, that would make it all too easy!"

I gently swept Shuichi's luxurious hair back and left a trail of soft kisses down his neck. He stiffened at my touch and cringed from my lips. Anger and a profound sense of betrayal tore through my soul until I looked into his wretched, fearful eyes and remembered all of the pain he'd been forced to endure at the behest of his so-called lover. I knew at that moment that I would have to prove to him that I was different than all the others. Regardless of how much it terrified me, I would somehow have to convey with my body the love I now felt coursing through my heart.

Cupping his face with my hands, I gently stroked his cheeks with my thumbs. Sensing the change in my demeanor, Shuichi slowly began to relax.

"What are you doing?" He whispered in confusion.

"I'm doing what your 'lover' asked me to do," I answered softly. My heart was beating so rapidly, I could barely tolerate the exquisite pain. Slowly, I let my hands glide down his neck, but when they slid down to his chest, Shuichi stiffened again. Sighing impatiently, I slid my hands back up to his shoulders and massaged them until he relaxed again, but as soon as I pulled him into another gentle embrace, I felt his body tense up again.

"It's alright Shuichi," I whispered quietly into his ear. "I promise I won't hurt you."

Tenderly, I kissed his neck again. Although he didn't cringe away from my lips this time, I sensed that he was still fighting the urge to do so. _Goddamn you Takahashi, _I inwardly cursed. _Goddamn you and your twisted little game!_ I wanted very much to embrace Shuichi, but not like this. Truthfully, I was afraid – afraid to let my emotions show – afraid of being rejected, and most of all, I was afraid of losing to that sick, egotistical bastard.

_It's time to step it up a notch, _I decided resolutely. Once again, I left butterfly kisses down Shuichi's neck in search of that one spot that used to drive his alter ego crazy. When I felt Shuichi's slight shudder, I knew things would work out in my favor. _With the possible exception of Takahashi, no one else here knows Shuichi's erogenous points, and I seriously doubt that Takahashi knows how to exploit them as effectively as I can._ With that thought in mind, I kissed that spot harder, sucking gently at his skin – not hard enough to leave a mark, but just enough to get his attention. Shuichi's sharp intake of breath was all the encouragement I needed.

My hands tenderly caressed his back as I embraced his petite body tighter. Slowly I worked my way back up his neck kissing every inch of his soft skin – savoring him as if he was a fine wine. As I gently nibbled his jaw, I felt his arms tentatively wrap around my waist.

"Shuichi," I whispered softly before gliding my tongue slowly along the edge of his delicate ear lobe. All of this felt so surreal. It was as if I was acting out a love scene from one of my books. I never dreamt that I would behave so romantically with anyone, let alone this obnoxious little brat. But then again, this wasn't exactly the same person who'd forced himself into my life, and in reality, I never would have allowed Shuichi to get close to me, if I hadn't wanted him there to begin with. As I held his shivering body close, I knew that this alone would never satisfy me. One way or another, I had to find a way to win back Shuichi's heart.

I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. His brow was furrowed making his tear filled eyes look so frightened and conflicted, I couldn't possibly continue. I had never forced another person to make love to me, and I damn sure wasn't about to be goaded into doing it now. Tenderly, I pressed his petite body closer to mine and nuzzled my left cheek against his right so that Takahashi wouldn't be able to see his face.

"Do you want me to stop?" I whispered in his ear.

"W..what did you say," Shuichi mumbled in disbelief.

"I promised I wouldn't hurt you, remember?" I paused for a moment. Just holding Shuichi in my arms like this was enough to drive me crazy, but I was prepared to do whatever it took to win his heart. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Yes… no… I… I don't know," Shuichi muttered weakly.

Pulling back slightly I looked once again into his beautiful eyes. It nearly took my breath away. Never – not even with Kitazawa – had I ever experienced this much bliss and agony at one time.

Shuichi licked his lips nervously. That one seemingly innocent gesture set my soul on fire. Although I knew it was against the rules, I had a sudden, uncontrollable craving to taste those sweet lips. Tenderly cupping the back of his head, I impulsively pulled him toward me.

Sensing my intention, Shuichi stiffened up again. "You can't kiss me," he whispered feebly in protest.

"I know," I answered softly brushing my nose against his coming close enough to feel the heat radiating from his succulent lips. Pressing my forehead against his, I caressed his cheek before reluctantly, pulling away.

"Wait!" Shuichi demurely caressed my cheeks with his trembling hands before slipping them back into my hair.

Hesitantly with the most adorable, timid expression on his angelic face, Shuichi slowly began to embrace me. I thought at first I was dreaming, but when I felt his body press against mine, I could barely contain the surge of excitement that coursed through my body.

"That's enough," Takahashi bellowed yanking Shuichi roughly from my arms.

"What's the problem," I snapped angrily back at him. "This fucked up little game was your idea, not mine!" Takahashi was blatantly ignoring me. His shocked face quickly morphed into rage when he saw the erection that Shuichi was unsuccessfully trying to hide. A large, self-satisfied grin spread across my face. "It looks like I performed much better at this than you anticipated?" My grin became a full-fledged smile as I watched Takahashi's face go from crimson to purple.

"Cover yourself up," Takahashi commanded throwing the kimono at Shuichi. By the time he'd fastened the obi, Takahashi was once again in control. He grabbed Shuichi forcefully and planted a long lascivious kiss on his all too willing lips.

Throughout Takahashi's excessive display of affection, I struggled to keep my composure, but I knew by the heat rising in my cheeks that it was a losing battle. By the time my rival released his nearly swooning lover and smiled triumphantly at me, I was certain my face was the same shade of purple that Takahashi's had been moments before.

"You might as well give up now," Takahashi exclaimed tauntingly. "Shuichi would never choose a nobody like you over someone like me!" Wrapping his arm possessively around Shuichi's waist, he turned and headed toward the door. "Let's go home Shu-chan." Glancing back with a malicious smile on his face he added, "Where you can make love with a real man all night long."

"Wait just a minute Takahashi-san," yelled an irate guest. "I was supposed to play with Shu-chan next!"

"Yeah, that's right," another guest chimed in. "What about the rest of us?"

"Saito, recruit as many hosts as you need and take care of our guests," Takahashi replied dismissively over his shoulder as he and Shuichi walked out the door.

As soon as the door had closed behind them, all hell broke loose. Saito motioned for me to wait for him as he and the other hosts rushed about the room promising anything and everything to calm Takahashi's abandoned guests down.

Still stinging from my recent defeat, I fought against the urge to get the hell out of there. However, I sensed that Saito had something important to tell me, so I impatiently waited for him trying all the while not to look as miserable as I felt.

Wandering over to the bar, I poured myself a good stiff, double shot of whiskey. I would rather have had a case of Budweiser, but unfortunately it appeared that neither Takahashi nor his guests liked to drink beer. As I downed the contents of my glass and poured myself another, I watched Saito intently. After making a quick survey of the room, he walked over to the telephone next to the bar. Lifting the receiver, he quickly punched in the number.

"Hello Teijo-san, would you please send three… no four more hosts to Takahashi's private room? Oh, and make sure Aki-chan is one of them… Yes, it was quite unexpected…" Saito glanced over at me and quickly added, "I have one more favor to ask… please send the keys to room 420 with Aki-chan… Yes, thank you Teijo-san."

As soon as Aki-chan and the other hosts arrived, Saito retrieved the key and motioned me to follow him. I grabbed my glass and the bottle of whiskey and gladly left the worst party I'd ever had the misfortune to attend. We walked in silence to the elevator at the other end of the hall. As we rode the up to the fourth floor, I almost asked him what the hell he wanted, but decided to pour myself another drink instead. The awkward silence lingered with us persistently until we entered room 420.

As soon as Saito shut the door, I immediately launched into my attack. "What the hell was that so-called party all about?"

"Takahashi was going to dump Shuichi tonight." He looked at me with fearful eyes. "But you completely screwed up everything he had planned.

"What exactly was he going to do," I asked suspiciously.

"I… was forced to endure something similar to this when Takahashi decided to dump me," Saito admitted. Although he laughed humorlessly in an attempt to shrug off the painful memories, I could clearly see the tears welling in his beautiful eyes."Unbeknownst to me, Takahashi slipped an aphrodisiac into my drink before allowing his guests to 'seduce' me." Tears spilled over his cheeks as he struggled to continue. "I tried to fight against the uncontrollable passion – to stay true to the man I loved, but it was no use. Time and time again, his guests brought me to climax, and each time it happened Takahashi would upbraid me for being such a shameless slut. Half way through the party, Takahashi went home with Akira leaving me alone and vulnerable in a room full of lecherous men." He wiped angrily at his tears. "I really couldn't blame him for abandoning me. After all, who would want a slut like me for a lover? After that night, I became the most licentious host at the club. I figured that since I wasn't fit to be loved, I might as well enjoy myself. By the time I'd learned the truth about being drugged that night, it was too late for me to change."

"Shuichi had been given an aphrodisiac?" I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. _He'd been drugged! The only reason he responded to me was because he'd been drugged!_

"No, Takahashi hadn't given it to him yet," Saito quickly interjected, "because he wanted Shuichi to reject you. Up until tonight, Shuichi has never responded to anyone other than Takahashi. The only reason you were invited to the party and given the first chance to play with Shuichi was due to Takahashi's overconfidence. He wanted to publicly humiliate you, but instead he was the one that was humiliated."

Despite my frustration, Saito's news brought a smile to my face. _I'd actually managed to humiliate that bastard!_ The thrill of victory shivered down my spine until I began to wonder what Takahashi would do to Shuichi in retaliation.

"Just who are you, Yuki-san," Saito asked suspiciously. "I thought at first you were the person Shuichi had been crying for the first night he came to the club. Although he told me he's never met you, the way you made love to him tonight, it was as if you knew exactly what you were doing – like you'd made love to him many times before.

Sighing wearily, I retreated from him long enough to set my glass and bottle on the night stand next to an outrageously large bed. I knew he would never accept the truth.

_Hell, I'm in the middle of this mess, and half of the time I have a hard time accepting it,_ I mused sullenly.

"Your apt appraisal when we first met was correct," I conceded languidly. "I am Shuichi's lover."

"How can that be…?"

"He doesn't remember me," I interrupted abruptly. "Let's just leave it at that."

I could see Saito struggling against his curiosity, but thankfully he resisted the urge to question me further.

"Is that all you wanted to tell me," I asked trying unsuccessfully to hide my irritation.

"Yeah, I'm finished," he replied wearily.

"Then I'm going home," I brashly announced. "I've had enough of this place."

"Don't worry, Yuki-san," Saito called out suddenly. "Shuichi will remember you."

The sincerity in his voice stopped me in my tracks. "How can you be so sure?"

"I got a good look at him before Takahashi made him leave," he answered pensively. "Instead of looking relieved to be getting out of there, he looked confused and… maybe just a little bit disappointed."

Saito's words made my heart race. _If only it were that simple, _I mused sullenly as I walked out the door.

"Please, don't give up on Shu-chan," he cried out moments before I shut the door.

As I slowly made my way home, I struggled in vain against the ominous premonition that had taken hold of my heart. I knew from the start that my rival was a deviant, dangerous person, and yet I couldn't stop myself from being lured into his twisted, fucked up games.

_No, it's much worse than that, _I moaned inwardly. _I publicly humiliated the bastard. What kind of hell is he going to put Shuichi through now?_


	4. Twisted Games  Shuichi's POV

I stood shivering in fear, riveted to the spot in which my lover had placed me.

_This can't be happening to me! _Fighting against the urge to bolt from the room, I caught Saito looking at me empathetically. _Please get me out of here, _I pleaded with my eyes.

Remorsefully, he turned away. I couldn't really blame him. I'd put myself in this position because I wanted so desperately for Takahashi to love me. Stealing a glance at my lover, I was disheartened to see Akira sitting next to him again. They were chatting intimately, something Takahashi has never done with me. Takahashi smiled at something Akira said and it made my heart ache.

_Why can't you smile like at me like that? _

Turning back toward the guests who would soon be 'training' me, I succumbed to my misery.

_I failed as a musician, my best friend abandoned me, and now, after all of the pain I've had to endure, I'm going to have to put up with another one of Takahashi's crazy requests._ I'd been coerced into this madness because Takahashi had convinced me that all of his companions had gone through this 'training.' Sullenly, I tried in vain to ignore the obvious intimacy between Takahashi and Akira.

_I bet Akira's never been asked to do this._

Suddenly, the door opened and Yuki, the mysterious blond stranger who'd recently begun coming to the club, walked boldly into the room. His calculating eyes scanned the room carefully. When at last he looked directly into my eyes, I felt a jolt of electricity shoot instantly through my body. Until this very afternoon, I knew nothing about him, but the way he was looking at me now, it was as if he knew me – intimately. Against my will, a shiver of anticipation ran down my spine. Out of all the men invited here to 'train' me, I feared this person most of all – not because I was afraid he'd hurt me. I was frightened of the irresistible attraction I felt the moment our eyes met.

"At last our final guest has arrived," Takahashi announced as he sauntered lazily over to me.

"Takahashi," I pleaded. "I changed my mind. I… don't think I can go through with this"

"There, there Shu-chan," Takahashi cooed with mock sympathy. "I only invited the men I knew would take good care of you."

"Please," I wailed as I clutched desperately at his shirt. "Don't put me through this! If I mean anything to you at all…"

"We can't disappoint our guests now, can we?" Takahashi interrupted coldly pushing me away. "You've already agreed to this. It's too late to back out now." Slowly he untied my obi and pushed my kimono over my shoulders. The silky garment fell silently to the floor exposing my naked body to a roomful of hungry stares. Several men whistled at me as I reflexively covered myself.

"Shuichi," Takahashi chided removing my hands and placing them stiffly at my sides. "You know that's against the rules."

Bitter tears poured over my cheeks as Takahashi led me through the room and allowed each guest to fondle my body. Every time I looked into their leering faces and felt their slimy hands slither across my skin, it made me want to puke.

_Takahashi, how could you do this to me, _my breaking heart demanded silently.I cringed as a particularly loathsome guest clumsily fondled my member. His hot, putrid breath washed over me, and I prayed that I would be unconscious by the time he was allowed to have his way with me.

Finally, I was led to Yuki. Instead of having the same revolting, lustful expression as everyone else, it looked like there was one hell of a battle being waged behind his attractive, golden eyes.

"What's the fucking point to all of this," he demanded testily.

"Shu-chan here is a hopeless romantic," Takahashi said as he lightly brushed the tears off my reddened cheeks. "He doesn't believe that sex without love can be pleasurable. You, and a couple of other lucky guests, will get the chance to show Shuichi just how wrong his naïve conception of sex is."

"So, you want me to seduce and make love to your lover," he asked with measured indifference. He looked at me again. Although his voice was controlled, I could still see a storm of emotions swirling tumultuously within his eyes.

"Only if you think you are able," Takahashi challenged overconfidently.

Yuki's attention diverted back to Takahashi. "What if your twisted little plan backfires and your boyfriend decides he wants to be loved by a real man?"

Holding my breath, I waited for all hell to break lose. Instead Takahashi caressed my chest pausing briefly to pinch one of my nipples. My body shivered in response and, I looked pleadingly into his eyes.

"Takahashi," I entreated plaintively._ Please don't make me do this!_

"I don't think I have anything to worry about," Takahashi replied deliberately ignoring me. "By the way," he added as he casually walked away. "You're not allowed to kiss his lips."

Smiling boldly, Yuki abruptly pulled me into a surprisingly warm embrace. "Of course not, that would make it all too easy!"

Tenderly, he swept my hair back and kissed my neck softly. I stiffened at his touch, but not because I hated it. On the contrary, the way he held me and kissed me…

_No one, not even Takahashi has ever been this gentle with me._ _The way he looked at me earlier… Somehow, he knows me_. I tried with all my might to remember him, but it was no use.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes. Every time I'd been held by someone other than Takahashi I'd felt nothing but revulsion. The fact that I didn't feel that way now was enough to terrify me.

He cupped my face in his hands and gently stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. He was looking at me as if I were someone special to him. In spite of the whirlwind of emotions that tore at my soul, my body began to relax in response.

"What are you doing?" I whispered in confusion.

"I'm doing what your 'lover' asked me to do," he answered softly. Although I fought against it, the sound of his sexy voice, and his tender caress were beginning to affect me.

_This isn't fair, _I bemoaned wordlessly. It was as if someone had read my mind, created my dream man and purposely led him here.

Slowly, his hands glided down my neck, but when they slid down to my chest, I stiffened again.

_No, I can't allow this to happen! I'm supposed to be in love with Takahashi!_

Sighing impatiently, he slid his hands back up to my shoulders and massaged them until I relaxed again, but when he pulled me into another gentle embrace, I tensed up again.

_Don't embrace me like this, _I cried within my soul. _If he keeps making love to me like this…_

"It's alright Shuichi," he whispered quietly into my ear. "I promise I won't hurt you."

His words pierced the center of my heart and shook the very foundation of my soul. _No one has ever treated me like this! Just who is this person? _When Saito told me about Yuki earlier, I'd barely been able to remember his face, but the way he was making love to me now, it's obvious that we were more than mere acquaintances.

Tenderly, he kissed my neck again.

_Oh God, _I inwardly moaned. _This feels so good._

I knew I should resist this unexpected temptation; I just didn't have the strength to pull away. Suddenly his soft kisses hit a sensitive spot that sent shivers down my spine.

_No, not there…_

As if reading my mind, he kissed that spot harder. Gasping audibly, I somehow managed to keep my voice silent.

His reaction to that one tiny intake of breath was as strong as a blast of hot air coming from an overheated oven. Slowly he worked his way back up my neck. Every time his lips touched me it felt as if my skin would melt under the heat of his desire.

_No, _I berated my pathetic, unfaithful heart. _This is wrong. I… can't betray my lover like this with someone I don't even know._

"Shuichi," he passionately whispered before seductively licking the edge of my overly sensitive ear.

_Oh my God, _I inwardly exclaimed. _Why does he have to be so damned good at this?_

Tentatively, I wrapped my arms around his waist. As my hands caressed the taut muscles of his back, for a split second I wished that we were alone. My body shivered in excitement. I could no longer deny that not only was I extremely attracted to Yuki, it was also entirely impossible for me to resist him.

_Please stop this, _I begged my treacherous heart and body. _Don't let this feeling overwhelm you._

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I struggled against the uncontainable emotions that threatened to sweep my heart away. Suddenly he stopped, and pulling me into a tighter embrace, he brushed his cheek against mine.

_How could such an innocent gesture make my heart race like this?_

"Do you want me to stop?" He whispered sincerely in my ear.

"W..what did you say," I stuttered incredulously. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. For the first time in my life, someone was actually concerned about my feelings.

"I promised I wouldn't hurt you, remember?" He paused for a moment. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Yes… "_What am I saying? "_No…" _I can't betray Takahashi like this…_ "I… I don't know," I muttered weakly.

Pulling back slightly he looked into my eyes. The storm of emotions had dissipated from his alluring eyes leaving only his sincere desire behind. Unlike all the others here, who only wanted me to satisfy their lust; I sensed that Yuki wanted more than just sex. In that moment, the last of my defenses was completely swept away and I happily gave in to the irresistible force that had from the very beginning been pulling us steadily toward each other.

_Please don't stop, _I tried to convey with my eyes. Although my heart had been so easily swayed, I surprisingly didn't care. For some unknown reason, when I looked into Yuki's eyes, it just felt like we belonged together.

Tenderly cupping the back of my head, he began to pull me closer.

_Oh my God! He's going to kiss me!_

I stiffened up again. "You can't kiss me," I whispered feebly. _But I really wish you could!_

"I know," he answered softly brushing his nose against mine allowing his lips to come tantalizingly close enough to kiss. Then he lightly pressed his forehead against mine and caressed my cheek before pulling reluctantly away.

"Wait!" I cried out as I felt the heat of his body recede. I didn't want those arms to ever let me go. Tenderly, I caressed his cheeks before slipping my trembling hands into his soft, thick hair. Slowly I pressed my body against his. _Embrace this body and make it your own._

"That's enough," Takahashi bellowed yanking me roughly from Yuki's arms.

_Shit Takahashi, _my mind raced into overdrive. _Please don't look at me!_

When he noticed the erection I was desperately trying to hide, Takahashi's face went instantly from annoyed to livid.

"What's the problem," Yuki snapped angrily at Takahashi. "This fucked up little game was your idea, not mine!" A large grin spread across his face when he also noticed my arousal. "It looks like I performed much better at this than you anticipated?"

I held my breath and prayed that Takahashi wouldn't do anything in response to his foolhardy taunt.

"Cover yourself up," Takahashi commanded as he threw my kimono at me. As soon as I'd fastened my obi, Takahashi grabbed me and kissed me more forcefully than he ever had before.

_He's really angry! I'd better go along with whatever he wants so no one gets hurt._

Takahashi's kiss seemed to last forever. I was afraid he would take me right then and there in front of everyone, but finally he released me.

"You might as well give up now," Takahashi taunted. "Shuichi would never choose a nobody like you over someone like me!" Wrapping his arm possessively around my waist, he turned and pushed me toward the door. "Let's go home Shu-chan. Where you can make love with a real man all night long."

"Wait just a minute Takahashi-san," yelled an irate guest. "I was supposed to play with Shu-chan next!"

"Yeah, that's right," another guest chimed in. "What about the rest of us?"

"Saito, recruit as many hosts as you need and take care of our guests," Takahashi replied dismissively over his shoulder as we left the room.

With downcast eyes I walked stiffly beside Takahashi through the crowded club. _What was that all about, _I wondered as I struggled to get a handle on this unexpected turn of events. _What's going on between Yuki and Takahashi? _

"Teijo, have Akira bring my car around immediately," Takahashi commanded.

"As you wish, Takahashi-sama," he replied quickly grabbing the phone.

I could tell that Teijo was curious about our sudden departure, but he had enough sense keep his mouth shut.

I shifted away from Takahashi slightly causing him to tighten his already vice-like grip on my waist. My stomach clenched at the thought of what he would do to me tonight. For the first time in our tumultuous relationship, I was disappointed that Takahashi had intervened.

_Yuki was right,_ I realized as an uncomfortable weight settled in my already agitated stomach. _Now that I know what being loved by a real man is like, I'll never be satisfied with anyone else._

All too quickly, Akira arrived with the car. Takahashi led me out of the club, pushed me unceremoniously into the back seat, and climbed in beside me. For several long, awkward minutes, we sat in silence. Ruefully, I looked at Takahashi. Although everything that happened tonight was not my fault, I had done something I vowed I would never do – I'd betrayed my lover. Now my heart was a mess.

"You're still thinking about 'him," Takahashi accused me suddenly.

"N…no Takahashi…" I stuttered guiltily.

My denial was cut short by a sudden ferocious kiss. Takahashi had never been a tender lover, but this time he was much more aggressive than he'd ever been before.

_Is he doing this because he's jealous, or is he just angry that someone other than him could arouse me? _

I felt his hand slip into my kimono. Ordinarily just a touch from those large, strong hands would be enough to make me completely come undone, but now I felt nothing.

"You disappoint me Shuichi," he whispered menacingly into my ear. "I never pegged you as the type who could so easily betray his lover."

"I never wanted to betray you," I cried silently cursing myself for being so weak. "Why did you have to force me into this? Why did you make me one of your hosts? Why, if you really loved me, did you put me through all of that?"

"Did you honestly believe I would ask someone I love to do the things you've done," Takahashi asked incredulously. "You've never been anything more to me than a cute little plaything. I was going to end our little fling tonight, but now that I know someone else wants you, and you obviously want him in return, I don't feel like letting you go."

"You bastard," I screamed in indignation. "I never wanted to be a… a 'cute little plaything!" My pent up emotions suddenly burst forth from my broken heart. "I… really thought… I was in love… with you," I exclaimed through my bitter tears.

"Don't you see Shuichi," he explained condescendingly. "As my most successful host, you will be loved every night of your life."

"That's not the kind of love I want." I tried in vain to stop my anguished tears. Saito had been right all along. Takahashi had never loved me. All this time, he'd been using me. "Please take me home."

"You're not going anywhere," he warned ominously. "You belong to me, and no one – especially not that arrogant bastard – is ever going to take you away from me."

"You just said you don't love me," I replied angrily. "I don't want to be your… host anymore!"

"That's not for you to decide," Takahashi retorted. He retrieved something from his pocket and before I could even wonder what it was, he popped it into his mouth.

He started kissing me again. I tried to push him away, but he easily overpowered me. Grabbing my jaw roughly, he forced my mouth open and with his tongue he pushed a pill into my mouth. I tried to push it back where it came from, but it was no use. He was simply too strong for me to resist. At last he pulled away, but he covered my mouth and pinched my nose closed with his hands.

"Either swallow that or die!"

_Don't do this to me,_ I screamed within my soul as I fought against him in vain. Just as I was about to pass out, I swallowed the pill in defeat. For a moment the world went black, but suddenly I was able to breathe again. As I took another deep breath, Takahashi's face slowly came into focus, and I definitely did not like the way he was smiling at me.

"What… was that," I whispered breathlessly in panic.

"It's an aphrodisiac," Takahashi answered as he retrieved a bottle from his pocket. "These little pills are the strongest on the market." He tapped the bottle affectionately before tucking it back into his jacket pocket.

Looking at me with a calculating leer, he continued. "Starting tonight, you will serve only me. I'm going to transform you into an erotic slut that no one will be able to resist."

He untied my obi and pulled apart my kimono. "I'm opening a new club in Singapore. With you as my featured attraction," he whispered lustily as his hungry eyes wandered over my body. "I'm sure it will be very successful."

"I won't let you do this to me," I exclaimed defiantly closing my kimono.

"Shuichi, you don't understand. Under the influence of these pills, you will have absolutely no willpower. No matter who the other person is, you will eagerly spread your legs for them." Takahashi laughed at me cruelly. "By the time my new club opens, you will be unable to function without them."

My body instantaneously went numb. "You… you can't be serious!" _He's going to get me addicted to those damn pills and make me into a sex slave!_ "NOOO," I screamed as I lashed out at him with both of my fists.

"Shuichi," he patronizingly scolded as he effortlessly grabbed my hands. "I didn't want to begin your training like this." Holding both of my hands in a vise-like grip with just one of his hands, Takahashi untied his tie and with practiced ease tied my wrists securely together.

He abruptly let me go, and taking advantage of my unexpected freedom, I desperately tried to loosen his knotted tie with my teeth, but Takahashi wasn't through with me yet. He yanked me roughly onto his lap, and forced my legs apart so that I straddled his waist.

"What are you… AHHH," I cried out in pain as Takahashi forced himself into me.

"This is your punishment," he answered as he roughly grabbed my hips and started pressing them into each of his forceful thrusts.

"Stop it, Takahashi," I wailed. It felt like he was going to split me in two. "Y..you're hurting me!"

"Pain isn't the only sensation you'll be feeling," he replied as the speed and ferocity of his assault increased. "The aphrodisiac will soon be kicking in. Once you begin to feel the pleasure hidden within the pain, you're body will never be satisfied without it."

"I HATE THIS," I screamed squirming fruitlessly against his superior strength. "There's no way in hell I'll ever want this!"

"You say that now," Takahashi replied his voice husky from exertion, "but in a few days, you'll be begging me for this."

I stopped struggling and tearfully endured the pain. As the minutes slowly passed by, I became lost within my helpless shame. Eventually, my body became accustomed to Takahashi's abuse, and the once stinging pain gradually morphed into a heat that spread with alarming speed from one end of my body to the other. It pooled uncomfortably in my groin and threatened to swallow me within the depths of this carnal nightmare.

"You're finally beginning to respond," Takahashi remarked as he teasingly caressed my erection.

Clenching my eyes shut, I bit my lip and fought desperately the urge to cry out and buck my hips in response.

_Damn it! I don't want this. I want… _my breath stilled within my chest at the name that leapt effortlessly into my mind. _I want Yuki! _

"If you beg for it," Takahashi crooned blatantly ignoring my anguish. "I might let you come."

"Damn you," I cursed insolently through my clenched teeth. "You know I don't want this."

"Really," He asked rhetorically as he tightened his grip around my painfully swollen member.

"NO… AHHHH," I cried out in defeat as I lost all control.

"Your lewd body is responding nicely now," Takahashi crooned as he stroked my member faster. Then his expression suddenly changed. "Are you still thinking about Yuki? Do you wish it was him fucking you instead of me?"

"YES," I exclaimed. Just thinking about Yuki fueled my passion far more than Takahashi or his drug. "I WANT YUKI," I screamed as I came all over Takahashi's chest.

All of a sudden, I was thrown roughly on my back. Takahashi began to pound into me as if he was trying to crush both my body and my spirit. The pain was so excruciating, it nearly took my breath away. With one final bone jarring thrust, I felt his seed gush into my body.

"Get this through your head," he hissed menacingly. "You're never going to see that arrogant bastard again! In a couple of weeks, you'll be too strung out on my pills to remember your own name – let alone anyone else. By the time my new club is completed, this hungry little ass will be more than ready to make me a lot of money."

"Please Takahashi," I tearfully entreated. "Don't do this to me."

"You did this to yourself," he answered as he coldly tossed my limp body aside, "when you chose that bastard over me."

Curling into a ball I gave way to my tears. _I'm never going to see Yuki again._ Those words echoed endlessly through my mind. The pain Takahashi had inflicted upon me was nothing compared to the despair that gripped my heart. _Nothing matters anymore,_ I silently lamented as we drove on through the night each mile taking me farther away from my former life, and Yuki.


	5. No Time for Regret

Once again I found myself staring at the Paradise Club's garishly flashing lights. I'd spent all of the day and night in anguished anticipation. Now, as the first few minutes of the new day slipped silently by, I stood bathed in its multicolored glow and tried vainly to keep my frayed nerves in check.

_This is it,_ I mused silently. _Soon I will have the chance to be alone with Shuichi. _

As I fought to control my racing heart, I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all. Ever since the day that little brat forced himself into my life; I'd been looking for a way to get out of this relationship. But every time I embraced him, my soul became more and more infected with his love. So much so that when the perfect moment to get away presented itself, I found to my surprise that I just couldn't let him go.

_On the contrary, _I whispered sullenly. O_ur situation has been completely reversed. Now I'm the one who has to pursue him._

I pulled Tsuneo's mystic stone out of my pocket and looked at it pensively. _Tsuneo said the reason Shuichi and I have been pulled into this… alternate universe was because his wish hadn't been fulfilled, and my wish wasn't what my heart desired. _I cringed at the thought of our last conversation before I'd made that stupid wish that threw our world into chaos.

"_**What did you wish for? No, wait let me guess. It was either a case of strawberry Pocky, or the complete set of Nittle Grasper's remastered CDs." **_My careless words echoed accusingly through my mind and the memory of Shuichi's pained expression tore at my soul.

I took a deep breath to banish those thoughts from my head. _Being regretful about what's already been said won't do a damn thing to help me now._ Absentmindedly, I rubbed my thumb across the smooth surface of the stone. _Shuichi's wish was pretty obvious, but my wish? Damn it, I wasn't seriously making a wish. How in the hell am I supposed to know what my heart desired when I wasn't even trying to make a wish in the first place! _

Sighing in frustration, I shoved the mystic stone back into my pocket and walked into the club.

"Do you have a membership card?"

I stopped short in surprise. Instead of Tiny, there was another person stationed at the club's entrance. Although he wasn't nearly as large as Tiny, he was equally as intimidating.

"What happened to Tiny – er, I mean Kuma?"

"He's been reassigned. Do you have a membership card or not," he repeated irritably.

"Yeah," as I handed him my card, I struggled to keep myself calm. This sudden change of personnel, which just happened to take place after Takahashi lost his twisted little game, was a little too suspicious.

He examined my card closely. "You may enter, _Yuki-san_," he replied as he returned my card.

"Thanks," I answered wryly in apprehension. I didn't like the way he said my name. It threw my already suspicious mind into overdrive.

As I walked slowly through the club, my sense of dread became even worse. There was something off about the atmosphere in here. It felt as if I was walking into the Tokyo Stock Exchange the day after the market crashed. Although the people were trying to look as if they were enjoying themselves, their normal enthusiasm was obviously lacking.

Warily, I approached Teijo. "What in the hell is going on around here?"

"I'm sorry Yuki-san," he began in an uncharacteristically serious tone of voice, "but we're going to have to cancel your appointment with Shuichi."

"What's happened to Shuichi?" I growled through my grit teeth as I leaned threateningly over the counter.

"I don't know," he surreptitiously whispered before reverting back into his previous business-like tone. "As an apology, the Paradise Club is offering you a voucher good for an extended session with any of our other capable hosts. Unfortunately, all of them are currently entertaining other guests. Of course you are more than welcome to wait for one of them to become available."

"Thanks, but no thanks," I retorted acidly. "I kind of had my heart set on Shuichi," sighing impatiently I continued. "Just reschedule our appointment. I don't care how long I have to wait."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," he answered quietly his voice filled with sorrow. "It seems that Shuichi won't be returning to the club."

"What… why…" gritting my teeth I stifled the myriad of questions that threatened to burst out. I could tell by the remorseful look on Teijo's face that he honestly didn't know what was going on.

"I'm truly sorry, Yuki-san." Teijo looked as though he wanted to say more, but a glance toward Takahashi's booth stopped him cold. Guiltily he avoided my gaze, and began to sort through his already immaculately ordered paperwork. I took a casual glance in that direction as I turned to leave. The only person seated there was Takahashi's blond boy toy. He was glaring directly at me as if he was a wolf and I was his prey.

I glowered back at him. _You want to have a go at me, pretty boy? Bring it on! I'd like nothing better than to beat the living hell out of Takahashi's pet._

A split second before he averted his eyes it looked as though he'd been intimidated by my unvoiced challenge. Sniggering triumphantly, I left the club and stormed down the street. Although I loathed the thought of doing it, I knew I'd have to go see Tsuneo.

_Damn it,_ I cursed under my breath.

Tsuneo was the last person I wanted to see right now, but one unfortunate fact drove my reluctant feet forward – _he is the only person in this damned city who can help me find Shuichi._

As I made my way through the nearly deserted streets, I tried to keep my over-imaginative mind from spiraling completely out of control. My head was filled with countless, demented imageries which progressively became more cruel and sinister with each passing vision. The thought of Shuichi being abused by that bastard made my blood boil, but unfortunately that wasn't all. Deep in my heart, a seed of despair had begun to take root.

_What if I manage to save Shuichi, but I can't figure out a way to get us out of this mess – _or worse yet – _what if I'm too late to save him?_ The emptiness in my heart that had been a persistent dull ache flared instantly into an inferno of agony. Suddenly, in spite of always bitching about how annoying the little brat was, I couldn't bear the thought of never being able to hold him again.

By the time I reached Tsuneo's apartment, I knew it would be futile to maintain a calm façade with the amount of turmoil brewing within me. Inwardly cursing my misfortune, I pounded mercilessly on Tsuneo's door.

"Well this is a pleasant surprise," Tsuneo crooned with his usual smart-ass feigned innocence that even in the best of circumstances instantly infuriated me. This was definitely not the time to try my patience.

"Don't give me that _'this is a pleasant surprise'_ bullshit," I yelled in his smug face as I pushed roughly past him. "I've just come from the club. I had an appointment with Shuichi, but when I got there, I was told that he was unavailable."

"You must have made quite an impression the other night. I've never known Takahashi to cancel an appointment…"

"Shut up and listen to me," I interrupted impatiently. "It wasn't just my appointment that got cancelled. All of Shuichi's appointments were cancelled – permanently."

"Ah, I see," Tsuneo answered with such uncharacteristic seriousness it instantly made my heart freeze. Then lapsing into silence, he walked absentmindedly away from me, and deep in thought he began to pace throughout his apartment. Much to my chagrin, I found myself following him around like a puppy tagging along after his master. I had never in all my life felt so useless.

After several agonizing minutes, I finally couldn't take it anymore. "What in the hell is going on?"

"I never thought that it would come to this," Tsuneo mumbled to himself.

"What the hell are you talking about," I yelled in exasperation.

"I'm sorry Yuki," Tsuneo replied quietly.

"Sorry about what," I exclaimed. Grabbing his shoulder, I forced him to look me in the eye. "What in the hell is going on?"

He stared intently into my eyes for what felt like an eternity, and an eerie sense of déjà vu slithered slowly up my spine. Once again it was as if he was looking into the depths of my very soul.

"Soon you will face the greatest tribulation of your life," he answered ominously as if awaking from a trance. "You should go home and get some rest."

"Goddamn it Tsuneo," I yelled lividly. "Quit playing around and help me find Shuichi!"

"For once I'm not playing around," he answered sadly.

"This is bullshit," I exclaimed trying desperately to quell my quickly rising panic. "There's no way in hell I'm going to go home and relax! Come on," I urged grabbing his arm and pulling toward the door. "You're going to help me find Shuichi!"

"You really have no idea what you're up against, do you mon ami," he asked delicately.

"What are you talking about," I questioned warily.

"Takahashi is not your average two-bit hood," Tsuneo patiently explained. "He's the second son of Takahashi Keitaro."

"So what…" I began to protest.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," he interrupted with a nervous chuckle. "In your timeline, the Takahashi's are just another middle class family, but in this timeline they are one of the richest families in Japan. They own a great deal of real estate not just here, but throughout the world. If Takahashi hasn't left the country with Shuichi yet, I may be able to track them down in a few days…"

"A few days," I exclaimed in disbelief.

"Well, at least not more than a week or two," he amended dismissively. "But if they've left the country, I don't know if I'll ever be able to find them."

"Quit screwing around with me," I growled at him gravely.

"Believe me," Tsuneo replied gently, "this is one time I truly wish I was joking." Taking my arm, he slowly guided me toward the door.

"Wait a minute," I protested angrily. "You know what that bastard is planning, don't you? I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on!"

"I do have an idea," he conceded reluctantly. "But I don't want to say anything about it until I know for sure. Just listen to me for a minute," he added hastily cutting off my objection. "I'd rather not make you any more upset than you already are, especially if my hunch is wrong."

"Fine," I snapped. It was taking every ounce of my willpower to keep my anger under control. "But you can't expect me to just go home and wait for you to figure out what in the hell is going on. Damn it Tsuneo! I've got to do something!"

"Yuki, you already have something to do. It's the most important task in fact," Tsuneo replied. He was trying to revert back to normal, but his usual 'know-it-all' expression was tinged with apprehension. "You still have to figure out what your heart desires the most. If you aren't able to do that, then all of my efforts to find Shuichi will be in vain."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," I growled challengingly.

"Do you honestly believe that Takahashi will let you take Shuichi away from him without a fight," he asked.

"What in the hell is he going to do," I protested hotly. "It's not like he's all powerful."

"No, thankfully you're dealing with Takahashi Akihito and not his older brother. Takahashi Taro, who recently took over his father's legacy, is about as close to all powerful as a mortal can get. However," Tsuneo cautioned, "don't underestimate Takahashi. Even though he's not as influential as his brother, he's still more than capable of crushing someone, and right now you're the person he wants to crush the most."

"What's the worst he can do… kill me," I asked in exasperation.

"No," Tsuneo answered seriously. "That would be much too easy and not nearly entertaining enough for someone like Takahashi. He'll want to make you suffer first, and the best way to do that would be…"

"To hurt someone I care about," I whispered in defeat.

"Go home and rest," he urged as he ushered me toward the door. "As soon as I figure out where Takahashi and Shuichi are, I'll give you a call. In the mean time, you'd better figure out what your heart desires the most. It's the only way you can truly save Shuichi."

Grudgingly I gave in and allowed myself to be led out into the I was fighting desperately against it, I could feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness threatening to engulf me within its endless dark depths. Once again my masochistic imagination threatened to torment me.

_NO, _I berated myself. _I refuse to give in to despair, not while there's still a chance to save Shuichi!_

In the distance I could see the full moon's pale glow peeking at me from behind the city's endless skyscrapers. It reminded me of my last moonlit stroll with Shuichi. My heart ached as I recalled the way his petite silhouette was illuminated by the soft, pastel moonlight.

"Damn it," I cursed at the emptiness that threatened to swallow me. I never thought I'd miss such an annoying, little brat._ God I've been such a fool!_

My solitary footsteps echoing through the deserted streets reminded me of a ticking clock in an empty room. A small, bitter chuckle escaped suddenly from my lips. _That's about all that is waiting for me at home now._

Memories of that night flooded my mind; each image was tinged with a dull yellow as if it was a century old photograph. One image in particular caught my attention. Consciously I stopped the flow of images so that I could fix this picture firmly in my heart. Shuichi had paused to gaze at the moon. Its pale light reflected beautifully in his large, violet eyes making his face glow as luminously as an angel. At the time I almost impulsively kissed him, but as always I resisted that urge. Right now I desperately wished that I hadn't.

_How many of those moments had I let slip away from me? _

Again my eyes were drawn to the slowly sinking moon in the brightening predawn sky.

_Shuichi wherever you are, can you see this beautiful moon too? _

Regret washed over me in an icy wave. Even if he was gazing upon the moon just now, the Shuichi in this reality won't remember that night. As I continued toward my lonely apartment I wondered if I would ever get my Shuichi back again.


	6. The Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men

I cringed as the bright sunlight pulled me unwillingly from my oblivion. It was a place I discovered one night after I'd drunk myself into a stupor. In the depths of that alcohol induced darkness, I found solace. It was the only way I could escape my self inflicted torment. The pounding in my head increased exponentially with my awakening consciousness. Even though it was excruciating, it paled in contrast to the familiar pain that gripped my heart.

"What the hell is wrong with me," I mumbled irritably as I staggered out of bed. It wasn't as if I'd never been away from the little brat before. I headed for the bathroom to splash some water on my face, but a glimpse at my haggard reflection in the mirror stopped me cold.

"Ah hell, who am I kidding," I whispered in defeat as I retreated from my wretched countenance. I went back into the bedroom and yanked on my clothes. All of those other times, I had been the one who had walked away. And ultimately, I had always made the decision to go back to Shuichi. Granted, it was usually after he tracked me down, but I could have refused to go back to him. For some reason, I never did.

_This time is different_, I mused sullenly as I lit a cigarette. _This time I'm not in control. This time there's a very real possibility that I may never get Shuichi back. _Trying to ignore my despair, I stumbled into the kitchen and made some coffee. As its aromatic scent filled the air, I chased a couple of aspirin tablets with a glass of water in an attempt to silence my throbbing temples. Glancing at the calendar, my already nauseous stomach twisted into knots. It had been nearly two weeks since I heard from Tsuneo, and each slowly passing day eroded just a bit more of my hope along with it. I poured myself a cup of coffee and stared helplessly at the bustling city outside my window.

If I hadn't made that stupid wish, Shuichi would be on tour now. I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself for the bitter-sweet memories that flooded effortlessly into my tormented mind. One memory in particular stood out amongst all the others. It was the first time I'd watched one of Bad Luck's performances. I never would have guessed that an obnoxious brat like Shuichi would have such a commanding stage presence. Although I would never admit this to anyone, I have always loved Shuichi's voice. It didn't matter whether he was singing one of his inane songs, or crying out passionately while we were making love, I never could get enough of it. Not being able to hear that voice again would almost be as painful as never being able to hold him in my arms.

The coffee along with the aspirins had already begun to dissipate my hangover fog, but those agonizing thoughts persistently lingered. I took a large swig of my coffee and tried my best to banish them, but it was no use. Slowly, I turned away from the window. Everything in the apartment now reminded me of Shuichi. His overwhelming presence surrounded and invaded me.

_Shit! This has got to stop, _I chastised myself angrily. Swallowing the last of my coffee, I began to clean up the empty liquor bottles that were scattered haphazardly around the apartment.

_I've really been drinking a lot lately, _I mused sullenly as the trail of empty bottles led me into the study. On the desk my laptop, closed and abandoned, sat amidst empty bottles, instant ramen containers and assorted rubbish. Sighing impatiently, I tied off the full bag of garbage I'd been lugging around and retrieved an empty one.

_This is so fucking pathetic,_ I grumbled disgustedly under my breath as I began to clean up the litter. A half crumbled piece of paper suddenly caught my eye. It was the lyrics to a song I'd written the night I learned about Shuichi's disappearance. I felt my cheeks redden at the raw, honest emotions that had flowed so effortlessly onto the paper. Not long after I'd written this, I grudgingly realized what my heart desired the most.

_Shuichi… if I manage to get us out of this mess, maybe I'll let Nittle Grasper record this as a surprise for you. _Carefully I folded it up and tucked it in my pocket alongside the 'mystic stone.'

I jumped suddenly as the phone jarred me from my dark musings.

"Hello," I answered expectantly. My strained voice sounded strange to my ears.

"I've got good news and bad news," Tsuneo replied in that maddening cryptic style of his.

"Don't fuck with me Tsuneo," I growled angrily. Although he still sounded like a whimsical fool, I got the impression that he was working very hard to keep the atmosphere light.

"Temper, temper mon ami," he chided patronizingly.

"Just get on with it," I grumbled gripping the phone with all my might in an attempt to control my emotions.

"I know where Shuichi is, but the situation is more complicated than I'd anticipated," Tsuneo explained seriously.

The abrupt change in the tone of his voice set my already frazzled nerves on edge.

"What's going on," I asked anxiously.

"Come to my apartment in an hour, and I'll explain everything to you in detail."

"Wait a minute," I exclaimed in vain into the now silent receiver. "Damn you Tsuneo!" I slammed the phone down in frustration and lit a cigarette.

"I hate it when he does shit like that!"

* * *

I pounded on Tsuneo's door furiously. Spending the past hour aimlessly wandering through the city had done nothing to calm my nerves. _Damn that bastard! After making me wait in the dark for two damn weeks, he calls me up just to make me wait an hour more!_

"Ah, right on time mon ami," Tsuneo replied. His obvious attempt at levity made my stomach twist into knots.

"Quit jerking me around and just tell me what the hell is…" I stopped short in surprise. Saito and Chiba were both there. The worried look on their faces made the knots in my stomach twist even tighter. "Damn it Tsuneo! What the hell is going on?"

"Have a seat and we'll explain everything," Tsuneo offered pulling a chair out for me.

Grudgingly I sat down. Across from me, Saito fiddled with his tea cup obviously avoiding my gaze. It looked as if he would burst into tears at any moment. Chiba to my right sat stiffly, and as I'd noted before, he seemed overly concerned with his companion.

"Now where should we begin," Tsuneo pensively said as he placed a cup full of tea in front of me.

"Shuichi is in trouble and it's all my fault," Saito wailed miserably.

"Calm down Saito," Tsuneo replied gently in consolation. "We don't know for certain what Takahashi plans to do yet."

"I know what he's planning, because it was supposed to happen to me," Saito continued undeterred.

"Wait just a goddamn minute," I exclaimed angrily. "Someone had better tell me what the hell is going on!"

Tsuneo sighed impatiently. "We just learned that Takahashi is planning to open up an S&M club in Singapore," His voice devoid of all lightheartedness sent an icy shiver down my spine. "It's possible that he intends force Shuichi to be its main attraction."

"I'm sorry, Yuki-san," Saito remorsefully mumbled.

"I've told you time and again not to blame yourself," Chiba interjected irritably.

"Yuki-san, remember when we first met," Saito asked blatantly ignoring Chiba. He looked like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in a very long time.

"Yeah, I guess so," I answered tentatively.

"I told you that Takahashi was using Shuichi the same way he used me," he explained as a single tear slowly slid down his pale cheek. "I think that I was the one Takahashi was targeting. Before Shuichi became Takahashi's lover and started working for the club, I was the one who used to get all the rough customers. But virtually overnight I lost all of my regulars. I thought it was strange when they all of a sudden stopped requesting me, but I just found out from Teijo that Takahashi had been the one who had set up all our appointments."

"If Takahashi was setting up the appointments, how could it possibly be your fault," Chiba exclaimed in exasperation. Clearly this wasn't the first time they'd had this argument.

"Don't you see," Saito retorted rising abruptly from his chair and turning away from us. "I just wasn't good enough. That has to be the reason why Shuichi ended up with all my customers. If I'd just tried a little harder, Shuichi would have never gotten mixed up into any of this! Damn it," he cried out miserably. Covering his face with his hands, he began so sob quietly.

"Saito," Chiba whispered tenderly embracing him. "I'm the reason you lost all your regulars."

"How could you possibly…" Saito mumbled in disbelief.

"Well technically I wasn't actually the one who," Chiba cleared his throat nervously, "convinced Takahashi to stop scheduling your… 'appointments," he spat out the word distastefully. "It actually was one of my great uncle's associates. My great uncle is the black sheep of our family. Although he was smart enough to go any college in Japan, he became involved with the Yakuza. His father pretty much banned him from the family, but for some reason, he still kept up with all of us."

Chiba paused and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "He's always been very kind to me. I guess it's probably because I'm sort of a black sheep myself. The point is, I just couldn't stand idly by and watch that bastard use you like that. I tried to make you see what kind of person he was, but you wouldn't listen to me. I'd hoped that when he tossed you aside, you would get out of this business. But even after the horrible way you'd been treated… even though Takahashi was obviously using you, you still chose to stay near him. That's why I had no other choice but to go to my great uncle."

"Why… would you do that…," Saito whispered hesitantly.

Chiba paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with you, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't want anyone else touching you, and I for damn sure don't want you getting hurt again." He pulled a clearly stunned Saito into a warm embrace and captured his lips hungrily. A few tense moments passed before Saito slowly wrapped his arms around Chiba's waist and fully surrendered to his overwhelming passion.

I stared uncomfortably into my tea cup, but it wasn't their passionate display of affection that made me uneasy. _How many times did I have the chance to tell Shuichi that I love him? _There were far too many to count. In my defense, I hadn't exactly been very forthcoming with my emotions, but even if I had been, I sensed that there was still something deep within my psyche that would have kept me from revealing them.

Reluctantly, Chiba pulled away from Saito. "You don't have to return my feelings right now, just stay by my side," he ardently implored.

"I hate to break up such a touching love scene," I sarcastically interrupted before Saito had a chance to respond, "but could the two of you save all that mushy stuff for later? Right now we have to concentrate on rescuing Shuichi!"

"Yuki is right," Tsuneo agreed. He retrieved a map and began to spread it out on the table. Hastily, the rest of us grabbed our tea cups out of the way.

"My source tells me that Shuichi is being held in one of Takahashi's country villas about one hundred kilometers away from the city." Tsuneo pointed to a location on the map next to a small lake. It looked as though the villa in question was in the middle of nowhere.

"Apparently," He continued. "The Takahashi's purchased the entire lake along with the villa. There are no nearby neighbors, and as you can clearly see, there are no nearby villages or towns. It's the perfect place to 'get away from it all'…"

"Yeah, it's also the perfect place to hold someone captive," I interjected in frustration.

"That's right," Tsuneo concurred. "I've also been told that the place is heavily guarded."

"Is Kuma one of the guards," Saito asked. "He hasn't been at the club since the night Shuichi was kidnapped."

"Yes he is," Tsuneo answered brightly, "fortunately for us."

I inwardly sighed in relief. There's no way Tiny would ever let anything bad happen to Shuichi.

"Now," Tsuneo began looking at all of us expectantly. "All we have to do is come up with a plan…"


	7. Often Go Awry

Awkwardly I followed Tsuneo through the dark forest. Our final plan sounded pretty crazy to me, but in the end I went along with it – partly because I was anxious to rescue Shuichi, but mostly because of the unspoken urgency that had fueled the discussion.

"We're almost there," Tsuneo whispered.

Slowly and silently we crept through the last quarter mile until we reached the edge of the forest. Approximately twenty meters across an immaculately maintained yard stood Takahashi's villa. Its pale façade glimmered warmly in the moonlight belying the depravity held within its walls.

"Right on schedule," Tsuneo quietly announced. "All we have to do now is wait."

I nodded in acknowledgement as the knots in my stomach wound tighter. This was the part of the plan that worried me the most. At this very moment, Saito and Chiba were supposed to be orchestrating a major commotion at the club – one that would be big enough to lure not only Takahashi away, but several of his guards as well. The others hoped that Tiny would be one of the guards that would be left behind, but I for one was certainly not counting on it.

Suddenly a large, black limousine emerged from the garage and screeched to a halt in front of the villa just a few moments before Takahashi and five impressively large men came barreling out of the door.

"You stay here with the others," Takahashi ordered the largest of the five. "And don't let your guard down for a second. The fact that this is happening tonight of all nights can't possibly be a coincidence."

"I'll do my best," the behemoth answered confidently.

"You'd better," Takahashi warned. "I trust I don't have to remind you about what happens to those who betray me."

"No sir," he answered crisply. Although his demeanor hadn't changed, I noticed a hint of fear in his voice.

As Takahashi turned to join his subordinates in the limousine, I noticed a self-satisfied grin on his face. Apparently he too had noticed the young man's fear.

We silently slid deeper into the forest and anxiously watched Takahashi and his men drive out of sight. The guard, after also watching his employer depart, remained outside. He lit a cigarette and carefully scanned the edge of the forest. The fact that we were well concealed did little to dissipate my apprehension. If he decided to get all gung ho and search the perimeter, it would screw everything up!

_ZING!_ Something whizzed past my ear and lodged into the guard's chest.

"What the hell," the guard exclaimed angrily as he yanked out what looked like a small dart.

"What the fuck have you done," I whispered furiously at Tsuneo as the guard began to lumber across the yard in our direction. After taking a handful of steps, however, he fell heavily to the ground.

"Don't worry," Tsuneo assured me quietly. "The darts have been treated with a sedative. He'll be out for hours and wake up with one hell of a hangover, but he'll be fine."

"Why in the hell did you withhold this part of your 'brilliant' plan," I whispered furiously pointing at the dart gun he was quickly reloading.

"What, and spoil the surprise," he replied mischievously. "I was afraid there would be some guards left behind. This" he announced holding up his rearmed weapon, "will quietly take care of our adversaries. Alright, let's go," he said motioning for me to follow as he cautiously made his way out of the forest.

Stealthfully, we sprinted across the lawn and into the villa. We followed the smell of freshly brewed coffee into the kitchen where we easily took down another guard. Unfortunately, he made a lot of noise when his oversized frame collapsed to the floor.

"What's going on in there," a deep, menacing voice called out. "Daisuke, what in the hell are you doing?"

"Hurry up and reload that fucking thing," I hissed at Tsuneo as heavy footsteps tramped rapidly in our direction.

Quietly I hid behind the door seconds before the other guard burst into the kitchen.

"What the hell," he exclaimed as Tsuneo's dart hit him in the chest. "I'm gonna fucking kill you," he yelled as he yanked it out.

Tsuneo nearly tripped over the guard on the floor in his hasty retreat, but fortunately for him the sedative quickly subdued his pursuer before he inflicted any damage.

"I hope that was all of them," I whispered anxiously as we began to our search.

Silently, we crept through the dining room, living room and study. We discovered a couple of bathrooms, and the laundry room, but everything was dark and empty. Looking out one of the windows, I was relieved to discover that the servants' quarters were in a smaller house behind the main house. All of the noise from our scuffle in the kitchen would surely have alerted them otherwise.

_This has been way too easy,_ I thought as we crept noiselessly up the dark stairway. It was much darker in the upper level of the house. There were only a couple of windows at either side of the hallway. Although the moonlight spilled through them, they didn't shed enough light for my liking. There were too many shadows in which an unfriendly could be concealed.

We systematically began to search the rooms. There were three empty beds in the first two rooms. The third room we searched was a large communal bathroom. Across from that room, we found our first locked door.

"This has to be where he is," Tsuneo whispered excitedly, "but we should check the rest of the rooms to make sure we're the only conscious ones in the house."

Impatiently I followed Tsuneo's lead. I almost argued against searching the remaining two rooms, but I held my tongue because I knew he was right. The last room on the right side of the hall was slightly larger than the others. This one also had three empty beds in it. These rooms were obviously where the guards were housed. The décor was functional and Spartan. If it weren't for the size, they could have easily passed as rooms from military barracks.

The final room had to have been Takahashi's. It was lavishly furnished and had one king size bed in it. On one of the bedside tables there were several sex toys lying on top of a towel next to an open, well used tube of lube. Near the center of the bed there was a pair of pink fur lined handcuffs that had been threaded though the spokes of the headboard.

Anger surged through my body like a wild fire at the thought of what that bastard had been doing to Shuichi for the past two weeks.

"Let's get Shuichi the hell away from here," I hissed menacingly.

Nodding in agreement, Tsuneo led the way back to the locked door. He put his dart gun down on the floor, slipped off his backpack and started rummaging through it.

"Impressive," Tsuneo and I froze as the unexpected presence walked out of the shadows toward us. "I never thought we would have been infiltrated so easily. I guess Akihito wasn't quite as paranoid as I thought he was."

_Shit! I knew this was going too well!_ Slowly I turned and faced our captor. Although he looked as though he was in his sixties, there was absolutely nothing wrong with his physique. His face was heavily lined giving him the appearance of a person who had experienced much in his life time. What struck me the most about him; however, were his piercing, intelligent eyes.

"You must be one," he said as he casually strolled toward me. "It didn't take me long to figure out that Kuma wasn't here as a guard. It was obvious that he was biding his time, waiting for something."

"What's happened to Kuma," Tsuneo asked anxiously.

"The damn fool attempted a rescue by himself," the guard explained. "Somehow, he managed to get a hold of Akihito's keys." He looked at Tsuneo somberly. "Unfortunately, they never made it out of the house."

"What's happened to them," Tsuneo questioned woodenly.

"Akihito ordered his men to execute Kuma," the guard remorsefully responded. "Then he had his guards take the boy into this room."

"I don't believe it," Tsuneo whispered in shock.

"Kuma was a good man," the guard replied sincerely. "I came here because Akihito asked me to train his guards. He never told me about the boy, but when I found out about him, I wasn't surprised. This isn't the first time Akihito has done this sort of thing, but I hadn't realized until yesterday that the boy was here against his will. I never dreamed Akihito would be involved in something as despicable as this."

Slowly still in shock, Tsuneo continued to rummage through his backpack. He pulled out a small kit, selected the proper instrument and began picking the lock on the door.

"Damn it," Tsuneo exclaimed. "What made him do such a thing?"

"Akihito was scheduled to leave with the boy later on this morning," the guard answered. "I suppose Kuma was afraid you wouldn't get here in time."

Tsuneo looked up at me in anguish. I tried to think of something to say, but realized there were no words that could possibly allievate his guilt. He took a deep breath and continued picking the lock.

"Got it," Tsuneo announced as he swung the door open.

I looked into the room and felt my stomach twist into knots. In the dim light from a window, I could see Shuichi's limp, awkwardly slumped body. Pushing past Tsuneo and the guard, I rushed into the room and turned on the light. Rage welled within me when I saw the condition in which Shuichi had been left. His wrists were locked in handcuffs that were suspended from the ceiling and his ankles were shackled to an iron bar that forced his legs apart. Angry, red welts crisscrossed his back, buttocks and thighs, and judging from the amount of bodily fluids that were running down his legs, it looked as though he'd been taken by several men.

"Takahashi you bastard," I swore under my breath. I couldn't believe he'd just leave Shuichi hanging like that.

"I'll… take care of the handcuffs," Tsuneo mumbled clearly shaken by Takahashi's cruelty.

He replaced the pick he used on the door, pulled out a smaller instrument and began to pick the lock on one of the handcuffs.

"I've known Akihito since the day he was born," the guard quietly began. "I knew he was into some kinky stuff, but I never knew he was capable of this." He turned guiltily away from Shuichi's limp body. "I'll help you boys out and then I'm going back to Takahashi-sama where I belong."

"Thanks…" Tsuneo replied gratefully.

While Tsuneo worked on the handcuffs, I quickly retrieved a wet wash cloth from the bathroom across the hall and wiped the mess off Shuichi's legs.

"No more," he mumbled miserably when Tsuneo successfully freed his left hand. "Please stop… I… can't take anymore."

"It's alright," I said tossing the dirty wash cloth aside. Gently, I slipped my shoulder under his arm and wrapped my arms around his waist to support him as Tsuneo started working on the other handcuff. "We're going to get you out of here."

With great effort, Shuichi opened his eyes and tried several times to focus on my face. When he finally recognized me, he gave me a weak, sad smile.

"This dream again," he mumbled groggily.

"It's not a dream this time," I said quietly. I couldn't believe how fast my heart was beating.

"I doubt he's going to comprehend much of what you're saying," the guard announced gravely. "It looks like he's been drugged with this."

Tsuneo looked at the small, plastic container. "He's going to be out of it for quite a while," he added knowingly as he released Shuichi's other hand.

Shuichi moaned in relief as his body collapsed into my arms. I shifted into a better position to support him and carefully rested his head on my shoulder.

Conflicting emotions struggled for dominance within me as I gingerly held Shuichi's battered body. Although I desperately wanted to kill Takahashi for making Shuichi suffer like this, I knew that figuring out a way to get us out of this mess had to be my main priority.

Even though I'd figured out what my heard desired most, I still wasn't sure what I was supposed to wish for to undo the damage that I'd caused. While I continued to wrestle with that persistent, foreboding feeling, Tsuneo quickly freed Shuichi's ankles. Then we awkwardly dressed his limp body into some of Saito's clothing that Tsuneo had wisely brought along. The guard helped Tsuneo hoist Shuichi onto my back and we followed him to his room.

"Are you sure you should be helping us," Tsuneo questioned in concern. "I don't want to sound unappreciative, but won't go badly for you when Takahashi figures out what you have done?"

"I'm not worried about Akihito," the guard answered with a chuckle. "Takahashi-sama is not only my employer; he is also my dear friend. Although Akihito is a formidable man, he will never be foolhardy enough to cross his father. You should be more worried about yourselves than about me," he added ominously.

As soon as the guard finished packing, we followed him down to the garage. Tsuneo and the guard helped Shuichi and I get into the backseat of his modest, midsized car and soon we were driving down Takahashi's long, winding private road. The trek that had taken Tsuneo and me over an hour on foot lasted only a few minutes.

"That's where I left my car," Tsuneo announced pointing to the left hand side of the road.

Carefully, we loaded Shuichi, who was still soundly sleeping into the backseat of Tsuneo's car.

"Be careful you two," The guard warned us as he slipped back into his car. "I've never seen Akihito behave so recklessly before."

"Don't worry about us," Tsuneo assured him confidently. "We've got everything under control. Thank you very much for all that you've done for us," he added bowing reverently.

We waved farewell to our unexpected ally, climbed into the car, and headed back to the city. Glancing back at Shuichi, I wished I could be as optimistic of the future as Tsuneo. I still hadn't gotten rid of that queasy feeling at the pit of my stomach. Although our mission so far had been a success, I had an awful premonition that something very bad was going to happen.

I spent the next two hours trying desperately to determine the best way to put what my heart desired into words. What I wanted most was to have my old life back with Shuichi, but, after all we'd been through, I was afraid that wish wouldn't be possible. Although I sincerely hoped Shuichi would forget all that had happened to him, I had a gut feeling that it would be impossible for me to do so. I knew deep in my heart the past three weeks I'd spent in this hellish alternate world had permanently altered me. If it really was impossible for me to have what I desired most, what could I possibly wish for that would put an end to this nightmare?

"Where… am I," Shuichi mumbled sleepily.

"We just entered Tokyo's city limits," Tsuneo answered brightly.

"WHAT," Shuichi exclaimed sitting up abruptly. "Ouch!" He winced in pain and clutched his head.

"Here," I said as I handed him some of my bottled water. "Drink this it will help clear your head."

"Yuki-san," Shuichi whispered in disbelief. "I thought I'd been dreaming."

"I told you it wasn't a dream," I replied chuckling uneasily as I recalled the conflicting emotions running through me the last time I'd spoken those words.

"No," Shuichi exclaimed panic stricken. "Yuki-san, you have to take me back! If Takahashi finds out what you've done, he'll kill you!"

"Nobody's going to…"

"Please," Shuichi earnestly begged. "It was hard enough watching Kuma die! I couldn't bear to see the same thing happen to you!"

"Shuichi has a point," Tsuneo interjected before I had a chance to respond. "If you have a wish to make, now would be the time."

I took a deep breath in a vain attempt to quell the queasy feeling at the pit of my stomach. This was the moment I'd been dreading, and the fact that I had to do it in front of Tsuneo made it even worse.

I twisted further around and looked directly into Shuichi's frightened eyes.

"I wish we could have our old life back." I held my breath and waited… Nothing happened. _Damn it! _It was just as I feared. "I wish we could be lovers again," I tried desperately. Still nothing happened.

"I've got to get the two of you out of here," Tsuneo uttered anxiously.

I nodded my head gravely in agreement. "Take me back to my apartment so I can pack a few things."

"I don't think that would be wise," Tsuneo cautioned.

"I'm aware of the risks," I answered testily. "It won't take me long to gather what I need."

If I was going to be forced into hiding, I for damn sure wasn't going to leave without at least taking my laptop with me.

"Yuki-san," Shuichi spoke timidly. "We were lovers?"

I sighed impatiently. "Yes we were lovers." I sensed Tsuneo watching me intently with that insufferably smug grin.

"How could I have forgotten you," Shuichi mumbled in disbelief.

"It's complicated," I answered abruptly, "much too complicated to get into right now." I mentally braced myself for the barrage of questions that I knew was sure to follow, but all that I heard was the sound of Tsuneo's car. I looked back at Shuichi in shock. Although it looked as though he was staring out the window, I could tell he was trying his damndest to remember me. I turned back around my stomach twisting into knots.

_That's what's wrong,_ I mused miserably. Although he looked and sounded exactly like Shuichi, he wasn't **MY** Shuichi. _Just what in the hell am I supposed to do about that?_

Before I'd had the chance to consider this potentially disastrous conundrum, we arrived at my apartment building.

"I won't be long," I announced as I climbed hastily out of the car. I stopped short in vexation when I heard Shuichi climbing out of the car behind me.

"Let me come with you," he pleaded.

"No," I replied impatiently. "Just wait here with Tsuneo. I'll be right back."

"I can't stay here," he exclaimed clutching desperately at my sleeve. "I have to come with you!"

"You don't have time to argue with him," Tsuneo called out in amusement. "Just let him go with you."

"Fine," I said shooting Tsuneo an irritable 'thanks for nothing' glare. "Come on."

I marched purposely into the building with Shuichi following closely at my heel. We entered the elevator and I stabbed the number of my floor. As we started our ascent, I was struck with an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. The first time I kissed Shuichi was in an elevator similar to this at my old apartment. I'll never forget his shocked expression or the way he trembled ever so slightly when our lips met. I glanced over at him. Although I was still irritated at the little brat, I was sorely tempted to steal a kiss to see what kind of a reaction I would get from him this time. Before I had the chance to act however, the elevator stopped.

I left the elevator with Shuichi in tow and headed for my apartment. As I walked down the hallway, my bad feeling returned. The closer I got to my door, the more I felt the need to escape. I had to force myself to take hold and turn the doorknob. The moment I opened the door and stepped inside, I wished I'd listened to my instincts.

"Welcome home," an icy voice spoke uninvitingly from the shadows.

I felt the presence of two other people a moment before the door slammed shut behind us. Someone turned on the light and I found myself looking down the barrel of Takahashi's blond boy toy's gun.

"Akira," Shuichi whispered in defeat.

"I knew the two of you would eventually show up here," Akira smugly announced as his steroid pumped companions pushed us further into the living room. "So, you thought you could just waltz in and take Akihito's favorite pet," he spat at me derisively.

"That sick, sadistic bastard doesn't deserve…" A fist the size of a grapefruit slammed suddenly into my left kidney dropping me instantly to my knees.

"Don't you dare speak of Akihito like that," Akira growled. "All of this is your fault! If you hadn't shown up, Akihito would have dumped that little bitch."

He glared menacingly at Shuichi. The object of his derision stood next to me with his head bowed, looking very much like a child who was about to be beaten.

"YOU," he screamed as he grabbed a fistful of Shuichi's hair and yanked his head up. "What is so special about you?"

Akira abruptly released Shuichi and slapped him so hard it made his stagger backward. Blinded by rage, I leapt toward Akira, but before I could reach my objective, one of the body guards overpowered me. I winced in pain as my arms were twisted cruelly behind my back.

"Stop it," Shuichi screamed. "I'll come back with you and do whatever you want. Just don't hurt Yuki-san!"

"I don't want you going anywhere near Akihito," Akira growled at him angrily.

"Then why don't you just let us go," I retorted grimacing in pain as the guard applied more pressure to my already throbbing arms.

"That simply wouldn't do," Akira answered contemptuously. "For some reason, Akihito is obsessed with this piece of trash." He glared scathingly at Shuichi. "He'd never stop searching for that worthless little bitch." He pulled a silencer out of his pocket and attached it to his gun. "I'm glad I got to you two before any of the others. That way I can take care of the both of you in my own way." He nodded to the behemoth that was trying to rip my arms out of their sockets, and he abruptly let me go.

Then two things happened simultaneously. I heard Shuichi briefly cry out in terror before the other guard subdued and stifled him, and I felt something rip through my gut. My hand had reflexively grasped the source of the pain. When I pulled it away, it was covered in blood.

_I've been shot,_ I thought incredulously as my body crumbled to the floor.

I could feel warmth spreading quickly beneath me, and I knew with sickening certainty what it was.

"Good shot Akira-kun," one of the guards exclaimed. "Looks like you hit a major artery."

"Damn," Akira replied in mock disappointment. "I guess that means I won't have to shoot him again!"

They all laughed and continued to derive sadistic pleasure from our suffering. Somehow, Shuichi wrenched himself out of the guard's grip. As he knelt down beside me, I could see that he was fighting to hold back his tears.

"Just hang in there Yuki-san," he whispered soothingly. "I'm sure Tsuneo will figure out a way to get us out of this."

"I'm… afraid that won't be possible," I answered grimacing in pain. My extremities were already beginning to go numb. "I… don't think I'll be able… to hold on for much longer."

I knew for certain I was dying. _Hell, I deserve to die this way._ I started to laugh at the poetic justice of it all, but ended up coughing up blood instead. When my coughing fit ended, I mustered up what little strength I had left and tenderly caressed Shuichi's cheek.

"I'm sorry…"

"No," Shuichi cut me off defiantly. "I'm never going to let you go. Somehow, someway we will be lovers again!" A tear spilled over his pale cheek. "I know Akira's going to kill me too, and I don't care because I swear, in our next life, I will find you and we will be together. You just wait! I promise I will make it happen!"

I smiled weakly at him. "Now that's… the Shuichi I fell in love with!" Suddenly, my vision started to fade.

"Yuki… NO," Shuichi wailed as he pulled my limp body into a desperate embrace. "Please don't leave me!"

I wanted to wrap my arms around him one last time. In that last moment, I was tormented by all the times I could have held him – all of the wasted opportunities I had let slip by because I stubbornly refused to acknowledge my true feelings. And now it was too late.

"I wish… I had another chance… to be your lover," I whispered faintly before the darkness overwhelmed me.


	8. The Best Is Yet To Be

"Yuki…"

I could hear a familiar voice calling out to me, but whoever it was, it sounded like he was miles away. I wanted desperately to find him though I wasn't sure why. I fought to regain consciousness, but my body simply wouldn't move. It felt like it was made out of lead.

"Yuki, wake up!"

Suddenly, my eyes flew open and I gasped frantically for air. It was as if I'd just broken through the surface of the water after having been at the bottom of a pool for too long.

"Yuki, thank God you're awake! What's happened to us? How did we get here?"

Countless memories assaulted me at once. I quickly stood up ignoring the dull ache of my muscles. I tore open my shirt in search of my wound, but to my surprise, it was gone.

"What in the hell…" I muttered as I looked more closely at my surroundings. I was still in my apartment, but everything looked so cluttered.

_Wait a minute… this is all of Shuichi's crap! _I whirled around and there he was. _Shuichi… __**MY SHUICHI!**_ My heart skipped a beat; no, it was more like it had finally started beating again.

"Yuki what's wrong?" His eyes were wide and the color had drained from his face. It looked like he was about to panic. "Are you…" I crossed the room in an instant and embraced him fiercely. "Alright," he mumbled hesitantly.

I pulled away just far enough to stroke his cheek and look into his eyes. He looked at me as if I'd completely lost my mind. I guess I couldn't blame him for that. I'd never been this affectionate. In fact there was still a small part of me that felt very uncomfortable about all of this, but I quickly dismissed it. I'd spent too many nights regretting all of my 'what ifs.' Now that I'd been given my second chance, I for damn sure wasn't going to waste it!

Slowly, I bent down to give him a kiss. My heart was racing as if it was our first. I paused momentarily just long enough to feel the heat of his lips, and then lightly brushed my lips against his. Just like our first kiss, he trembled sparking a fire within me.

_My Shuichi… _it echoed through my head like a mantra. I pulled away just to gaze at his face. I couldn't believe our nightmare was finally over. Shuichi's eyes slowly fluttered open. He looked at me with such an alluring expression it threw my libido into overdrive. Capturing his lips with a passionate kiss, I embraced him as if I were a selfish child unwilling to share his favorite toy.

As if awakening from a dream, Shuichi wrapped his arms around my waist. Before long, he was clutching at my shirt and kissing me ardently in return. A soft, impassioned moan escaped from his lips, pushing my self-control to the very brink of its limits. I wanted him more than I'd ever wanted anyone before. Although deep down I knew it was irrational, I felt like I had to reclaim him – to once again make him mine.

"I want you," I whispered urgently into his ear; "NOW!"

"Then take me," he sighed breathlessly.

Those three words uttered so seductively were like throwing gasoline on my already blazing passion. Kissing him Fiercely, I awkwardly maneuvered him toward the bedroom. As we stumbled down the hallway pausing briefly to remove clothing, I could scarcely believe the different emotions churning within me. The taste of his lips, feel of his soft skin were slowly driving me out of my mind. By the time we made it to the bedroom, we were both naked and burning with passion. I ogled Shuichi's lithe, sensuous body as he climbed into bed while I hastily fumbled through the bedside drawer for the lube. As I climbed into bed, Shuichi spread his legs and looked at me so longingly it made me want to skip the foreplay and pound his ass into oblivion. As excited as I was, there was no way I'd ever do that. I'd seen him in pain too much the past couple of weeks. Even though it wasn't this Shuichi that had experienced it, I didn't ever want to see him in pain again.

Positioning myself between his legs, I poured a generous amount of lube over him. The cold, gelatinous liquid made him hiss sharply as he tilted his hips in anticipation. Transfixed by the unbelievably sexy expression on his face, I gently traced his entrance with a finger.

"Yuki, please," he begged.

"As always, you're too eager," I whispered teasingly in his ear. Tenderly I nibbled his neck as I slowly pressed my finger in. A barely audible moan escaped his lips. "Don't hold back your voice," I demanded as I left a trail of kisses down the center of his chest.

"Yuki, what are you…" he gasped as second finger joined the first.

I traced his bellybutton with my tongue as my other hand wrapped gently around his member.

"No… don't," Shuichi protested weakly as I licked the tip of his cock.

"You don't like this," I questioned looking up at him in mock innocence as I gave him another playful lick. I felt him throb as our eyes met and before he could muster an answer, I took all of him in. I felt his fingers grip my hair and heard him cry out incoherently as I began my ardent ministration my fingers quickly falling into sync with my lips.

"Yuki… stop," he exclaimed unable to keep his hips from moving. "I… can't… I'm gonna…"

His body stiffened as he climaxed and cried out in ecstasy. It reverberated throughout my consciousness mingling with the echoes of the past. I was so afraid I'd never hear that beautiful voice – so afraid I'd never be able to embrace him like this. It made everything so much more intense than it had ever been before.

"Why… did you do that," Shuichi gasped in astonishment.

I felt my cheeks warm as I struggled against the emotions churning within me. I'd never voluntarily performed oral sex with another man, and I wasn't sure what had driven me to do it this time. The only thing I knew for certain was that as long as it was Shuichi, I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

"You always come too fast the first time," I answered teasingly in an effort to hide my sudden surge of embarrassment.

His cheeks reddened in irritation, but before he could respond, I entered him. Slowly, savoring every sensation, I pressed into his soft, warm body. I was completely enraptured by Shuichi. Every impassioned moan, every gentle touch threatened to drive me out of my mind. I paused as soon as I'd filled him to the hilt and kissed him once again reveling in the many sensations that threatened to overload my senses.

Wrapping his legs around my waist, Shuichi slowly began to move his hips. A low, carnal growl escaped my lips as my hips fell into sync with his. Entranced, I watched the varied expressions on Shuichi's face. Love, ecstasy, bliss all mingled as one transforming his natural radiance into true beauty. Passion drove us relentlessly, our desire controlling the speed and force of our thrusts. Locked within this erotic embrace, our bodies seem to meld into one. I was close, so close to losing all control.

"Shuichi," I whispered fervidly unable any longer to contain my passion.

At that same moment, Shuichi cried out too his fingers digging into my skin as we both tumbled over the edge together. It was as if we had fallen into heaven. Never before had I ever felt such sublime gratification.

When I finally regained my senses, I gazed down at my lover. Tears of joy threatened to spill over his rose tinted cheeks, and his plump, red lips were just begging to be kissed. I'll be damned if it wasn't the most enticing vision I'd ever beheld. Tenderly I obliged his succulent lips with a soft peck that quickly deepened into another long, ardent embrace.

Although I'd just experienced the most intense climax of my life, I was nowhere near satisfied. Wrapping his arms tighter around my neck, Shuichi started moving his hips again letting me know without a shadow of a doubt that he wasn't finished yet either. Gently I pushed myself off his warm, soft body.

"No," Shuichi whimpered as he felt my body recede.

"What's wrong," I asked teasingly. "Haven't you had enough yet?"

With downcast eyes she shook his head. A ripple of guilt tore through my heart. How often had I left him like this longing for more? Pushing those painful memories aside, I propped up the pillows behind me and reclined back.

"Come," I said opening my arms invitingly. "It's your turn to pleasure me."

A shy smile graced his face as he straddled my hips. My member slid effortlessly back into his body as he slowly, seductively began to move his hips. My hands slid over the soft curve of his body, and he cried out his back arching involuntarily as I began to thrust into him. Only Shuichi could look so innocent and yet so very erotic at the same time. I knew at that moment, we'd be going at it for a very long time.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon, or early in the evening depending upon how you look at it, when I awoke. Shuichi and I were in the same position as when we'd fallen asleep a few hours earlier. I'd done something that I had never done before. I let Shuichi sleep in my bed with me. Not only that, but I allowed – no I wanted him to snuggle up with me. I just felt like I had to hold on to him. It was as if I was afraid he'd disappear if I didn't.

I'd never slept with in the same bed with anyone. I always thought it would be too awkward, especially the morning after, but to my surprise, it wasn't awkward at all. In fact, I discovered that I kind of liked the way Shuichi's warm, soft body felt curled up next to me.

Memories of last night flooded my thoughts threatening to once again rouse my passion. We'd become one. Every time we'd made love, we ceased to be two, and had become one. How many times had my partners said that during sex? I'd always secretly laughed at their sentimentality. In truth, I didn't believe it could happen. How could two people become one? Not only did it seem impossible, I certainly had never wanted it to happen. Last night, however, was different. For the first time, I completely opened myself to another person. I embraced Shuichi without the shield I normally hid behind, and as a result I experienced the pure bliss of becoming one with my lover.

A soft knock at the door interrupted my reverie. Gingerly, I slipped out of Shuichi's embrace.

"Yuki," he mumbled thickly in his sleep.

I felt my heart quicken as I looked at the beatific smile that graced his face. Another knock at the door sent me reluctantly scuttling for my clothes. Hastily, I got dressed and raced to open the door.

"Good afternoon mon ami," Tsuneo announced with that insufferable smug grin of his. "I trust I'm not…" He looked obviously past my shoulder, "interrupting anything?"

"No, you're not interrupting anything," I answered tersely.

"That's good," he said as his stupid grin widened into an annoying smile. "I've come to reclaim my wishing stone."

"Good riddance," I replied angrily digging it out of my pocket. "That damn thing nearly got me killed!"

"It's funny you should mention that," Tsuneo responded chuckling nervously. "Actually, for a brief time, you were dead."

"What in the hell are you talking about," I questioned angrily.

"It all goes back to Shuichi's wish," he explained. "I swear I never dreamt it would end up with your death. You must believe me."

"You're beginning to sound like a madman," I scoffed at him.

"You need to hear me out, mon ami. I don't think you've fully realized just how close to disaster you and Shuichi really were."

"Alright," I conceded reluctantly. Something about his demeanor was making my stomach twist into knots.

"Shuichi's wish couldn't be fulfilled on its own," Tsuneo continued. "You also had to make a wish. I assumed, since you were a couple, that your wish would naturally compliment Shuichi's." He looked at me mischievously. "But the two of you weren't really a couple now were you?"

I merely glowered at him. The bastard was right. Shuichi and I were together, but we weren't exactly a couple.

"It was blatantly obvious how Shuichi felt about you," he continued unfazed by my menacing glare, "but your feelings for him... Oh, you knew they were there, your true feelings for Shuichi, but something within you refused to let them surface. When you made your hasty wish… Well, you know what happened. I knew the first time I looked into your eyes and saw how worried you'd been for Shuichi, that you were in love with him. But for reasons I couldn't at that point in time comprehend, your psyche wouldn't allow those feelings to surface. It wasn't until much later that I figured out what it would take to allow your true feelings to surface. Only then would you be able to make the wish that would truly fulfill your heart's desire thereby fulfilling Shuichi's wish."

I wanted to be angry with him, but I just couldn't. While he'd been talking, I remembered something… "When did you know that I would have to face my own death?"

"The night you learned that Takahashi had kidnapped Shuichi."

A shiver ran up my spine as I recalled his exact words._** Soon you will face the greatest tribulation of your life. **_"I don't understand…"

"If you think carefully back on the night you briefly died, I'm sure you'll find your answer."

The knots in my stomach twisted tighter, but I closed my eyes and allowed myself to go back into those painful memories. My heart ached as I saw Shuichi's alter ego once again get savagely slapped by Akira. I lunged for the bastard. I wanted to pound that beautiful face into a bloody pulp, but his guards caught me wrenching my arms painfully behind my back. When Akira pulled the silencer out of his pocket and attached it to his gun, I knew we were going to die. Before I'd even had the chance to wonder who would die first, I felt the bullet tear through my body. Never had I felt such pain, but after all, I deserved to die this way… My eyes flew open.

"That's right mon ami."

"Yes, of course," I exhaled the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "I've always been tormented by Kitazawa's… death." I tensed, waiting for the familiar pain to grip my heart, but for some reason it didn't happen.

"You've been set free," Tsuneo patiently explained, "by experiencing the same death as your former tutor. Only after that barrier had finally been removed, were you able to wish for what your heart truly desired."

"Shuichi," I whispered involuntarily.

"What's there to eat," Shuichi asked as he enthusiastically bounded into the living room. "Tsuneo-san," he exclaimed happily. "You won't believe what happened…"

As Shuichi animatedly began telling Tsuneo about the strange thing that happened on our date, I watched him in utter amazement. For someone who was so petite, he was incredibly resilient. I couldn't believe he could move so freely after everything we'd done last night. Suddenly I was struck by a notion.

"What was Shuichi's wish," I asked abruptly while Shuichi paused to take a breath.

Tsuneo, looking pointedly at Shuichi, didn't say a word.

"I… wished for you to be happy," Shuichi confessed in embarrassment.

"You… what," I questioned incredulously.

"You've always seemed so… unhappy," Shuichi sheepishly explained. "I've always wanted to make you as happy as you've made me, but no matter how hard I tried, I always managed to make you feel worse."

I felt as though I'd been punched in the stomach. I wanted to tell him it wasn't true, but I simply couldn't. Every moment I'd spent with him had been bitter sweet at best, but most of the time it had been pure hell. None of it was his fault of course. It had been impossible for any kind of happiness to override the terrible guilt that had consumed my life.

_He wished for my happiness,_ I realized miserably. _Of all the things he could have wished for…_ My stomach twisted into knots as I painfully remembered all the heartless things I'd said to him.

"Wait a minute," Shuichi exclaimed excitedly. "Does that mean that Yuki finally made his wish?"

"He most certainly did," Tsuneo affirmed.

"What did you wish for," Shuichi asked me anxiously.

I glared angrily at Tsuneo.

"Come on Yuki! Tell me," he insisted.

"No way," I spat tersely giving Tsuneo my best 'you'd better keep your fucking mouth shut' glower.

"That's not fair," Shuichi protested. "I told you what I wished for. Tsuneo-san please, tell me what he wished for."

"I'm sorry Shuichi," Tsuneo replied somberly.

I was shocked at his answer. I'd expected him to make a big game out of it. He of all people should have leaped at the opportunity. Not only would he have been able to take pleasure out of my embarrassment, he also had the opportunity to tease Shuichi.

Shuichi gasped shifting my attention to him. He looked as if he'd just been told his best friend was dead. Tears had already begun to spill over his pale cheeks.

"I understand," Shuichi mumbled in resignation. He looked at me, but only for a moment. "That explains why you were being so nice to me yesterday." He bit his lip in an attempt to control his anguish. "Last night you were so… I thought that maybe…" He turned abruptly and ran into the bathroom.

"What in the hell was that about," I demanded.

"I'm not allowed to reveal another person's wish," he answered innocently.

"That's a relief," I sarcastically retorted, "but that clearly is not what upset Shuichi."

"That's true," he replied mischievously. "He probably got the impression that you wished to leave him."

"How in the hell would he get that impression," I asked advancing upon him menacingly.

"Before Shuichi made his wish, I had an inkling of what it would be." He looked at me knowingly. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm very good at reading peoples' expressions. Anyway, I told him to think very carefully before making his wish." He shook his head and smiled. "But your Shuichi was much too impulsive to do that. After he wished for your happiness, I tried to explain the many ways in which a wish like that could backfire. Even though he didn't seem to understand much of what I was trying to tell him, I could see it was beginning to make him anxious. Of course, not knowing the true nature of your relationship, I didn't know why. When I'd finished, he stood there silently for the longest time. So long in fact, I'd begun to worry about him. Then your pure-hearted lover surprised me by saying: 'Even if he would be happier without me, I'd still wish for Yuki to be happy." He paused and looked at me enviously. "You really are a lucky man to have someone who loves you so selflessly and completely."

Tsuneo's words cut straight through my heart, but there was no way I was going to give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

"Yeah, but thanks to you and your so called integrity, Shuichi's convinced that I'm going to leave him."

"Naturally," Tsuneo replied devilishly. "Now you're going to have to confess your true feelings."

"Like hell I will," I exclaimed grabbing his arm roughly. I opened the door and shoved him unceremoniously out into the hall. "Get the hell out of my apartment and stay the hell out of my life!"

"Don't worry mon ami," he replied sadly. "I promise you will never see me again."

"That suits me just fine," I snapped as I slammed the door in his face. His pained expression almost made me feel sorry for him.

Steadying myself against the door, I struggled to regain my composure. After taking several deep breaths, I'd finally calmed down enough to be able to process everything Tsuneo had said.

I knew that Shuichi loved me, but I'd never known how deeply he loved me. The fact that he was willing to place my happiness over his was almost more than I could bear. I was once again overwhelmed by all the heartless things I'd said to him – all the times I neglected him – all the times I'd made him cry.

I lit a cigarette and wandered into my study. My laptop was exactly as I had left it. I cringed when I thought of my pathetic unfinished novel which was woefully behind schedule. Suddenly, I was struck by an inspiring thought. Why couldn't I write about what had happened to me and Shuichi? Although I'd never written a romantic fantasy novel, I knew it wouldn't be difficult. The story unfolded effortlessly in my mind.

"Be careful what you wish for because it might just come true," I whispered to myself. Yes, that should be the title. I almost sat down at the desk and started writing, but the sound of the water running in the shower reminded me that there was something more important I had to do first.

As I slipped quietly into the bathroom, I could hear Shuichi sobbing plaintively. Inwardly I cursed Tsuneo for being such a meddling asshole. I stripped quickly and surreptitiously joined Shuichi in the shower.

"What do you think you're doing," he demanded as wrapped my arms around him.

"What does it look like I'm doing," I whispered in his ear.

"Please… don't do this to me," he pleaded tearfully. "I know you're just being nice because you're going to leave me again. Do you have any idea how much that hurts me?"

"Shuichi listen to me," I said as I turned him around to face me.

"I told you to stop," he wailed trying unsuccessfully to push me away.

"Would you cut it out and just listen to me?"

"NO," he yelled struggling harder to get away. "I know what's going to happen! I don't need…"

I kissed him forcefully, partially to get him to shut up, but mostly because he looked so damned adorable. For a few seconds he continued to struggle, but eventually he gave in and kissed me ardently in return.

Reluctantly, I released his lips.

"Baka," I chided him affectionately. "This is what I wished for." I pulled away from him and paused to gather my courage. In my mind's eye, I saw Chiba do the same thing just before he confessed his love for Saito. I wondered once again how anyone could do such an embarrassing thing so calmly. As I looked into Shuichi's eyes, however, all my apprehensions melted away.

"I love you," I whispered passionately, "and I promise I'll never leave you again."

Fresh tears spilled over Shuichi's pink cheeks. He looked as though he wanted to say something, but he was simply too astonished.

"I'll be damned," I exclaimed. "If I'd known it would be this easy to shut you up, I'd have said this a long time ago!"

Shuichi's face turned bright red.

"You Jerk," he retorted angrily trying to push me away again.

Before he could say anything else, I captured his lips with another impassioned kiss. He surrendered much quicker this time, and as the warm water cascaded over our slowly entwining bodies, I vowed deep in my heart that I would cherish this adorable, little brat for the rest of my life.


End file.
